A Sex Toy Coloring Book Relieves Stress During Sexy Solo Play

I will fully admit that I am one of those aging hipster women who loves her some good ol' fashioned crafting.

I'm not a very good knitter, but I'll do it cheerfully if it means participating in a stitch and bitch circle. 

Crocheting and needlepoint are very much my jam. Get me in some cozy socks and let me cross stitch the day away and I am one happy soon-to-be senior citizen.

But when adult coloring books came into fashion I just couldn't get into the groove of the things.

In theory it was the perfect hobby for me. I could zone out with a glass of wine and reality TV and let my hands idly scribble, making something absolutely beautiful in the process.

But I just can't get into it. There's something to me that's so pointless and juvenile and well, basic, about spending my evening coloring in some sort of Keep Calm and Carry On style poster. 

I'm already a white girl who loves wine and Sex and the City. I've reached my max for just how basic I can be in society without being tarred and feathered by passers-by for being the most trite ever.

That said...

I might be changing my mind and taking up coloring books after all. At least, that's how I'm feeling after learning about The Sex Toy Coloring Book.

The Sex Toy Coloring Book

This wonderful creation for you to color in as your heart desires is designed for basic perverts just like me. "I am not going to color in another abstract elephant," you might be thinking look down at your coloring book. 

Well worry no more! Now instead of a fun pattern you can color in an entire page of Fleshlight sex toys or naked women riding bicycles with dildos are their seats! 

It's fun, perverted, and totally, totally not safe for work. 

I kind of love this. It's almost as good as the vagina coloring book I stumbled across earlier this year. 

I am looking forward to the day where eventually all of our paper pornography is just coloring books that you have to procure at the neighbor craft store. 

The Sex Toy Coloring Book

The coloring book is the brain child of Magnus Frederiksen, a Swedish illustrator, proving once again that Sweden creates the best damn stuff ever. I mean, have you BEEN to Ikea? Those meatballs, amiright? 

If you've been looking for a new craft that doubles as foreplay you can share with your sexy time partner, there's no doubt that this sex toy coloring book is where it's at. 

The world is your dildo.