What's a woman to do when she wants get married, but doesn’t want to scare men away? Listen, if a guy is going to be scared off because of something you feel strongly about, then he’s probably not marriage material.
If you want to be seen as marriage material, you need to get honest with yourself first and then move forward with others. Here’s a list of ideas of what you don’t want to do, for your own sake:
1. Don't be too rash in looking to getting married.
You don't want to just dismiss somebody immediately just because the first thing he says is, "I know I'm not ready to get married." Just because a guy doesn’t see himself as wanting to get married soon doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind.
2. Don't pretend to be somebody you're not.
Don't act all nonchalant and like you're above getting married. Some people try to act the exact opposite of what they feel to appear hip. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get married, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing it to somebody.
If a guy isn’t comfortable with you wanting to be married one day because he feels it’s too much pressure, you might want to use that knowledge to look at your relationship and how much effort you put into it.
3. Don't care ONLY about getting married.
Don't make marriage be the only thing you care about in life. If you're obsessed with weddings and marriage, there’s a slight possibility that it might turn people off because it might appear that that's all you're banking your life on.
It’s totally fine for marriage to be your highest priority, but it can’t be ALL that’s important to you. If you're centered on any one thing, it's going to make you unbalanced.
That one-point mindset might make people question why you don't have other things in your life that are equally important — your family, friends and career. Don’t be a one-dimensional person; keep your interests alive in all different areas of your life.
4. Don't wait around for the right guy.
If you're sitting at home and wondering why nobody's asking you to marry them, but you haven't dated in three years, well... you’ve got a problem. Get yourself out there.
You can't hole yourself up and think you’re going to meet a guy. Push yourself to meet new people: join clubs, go to meet ups, or try a new activity. You never know where you're going to meet him. There's no reason why you can't meet your future spouse at a local pub, church or store.
5. Don't discount your true feelings.
Don't lie to yourself or discount what you feel deeply just to impress someone else. It’s OK after a couple of dates to ask a guy if he sees himself getting married. You shouldn't ever feel like you have to lie and like that will make you seem more attractive.
Pretending to not want to get married will only lead to problems. Be honest with yourself and him. There’s nothing wrong in admitting you think about marriage; that doesn’t have to mean tomorrow. The right guy for you is going to appreciate your honesty.
6. Don't act helpless on your own.
Don’t paint a picture of yourself as weak or as a damsel in distress in hopes of a guy wanting to be your knight in shining armor. You most likely don’t want a man to come in and take care of everything for you.
And if you do think that’s what you want, maybe consider the sacrifices you may need to make to allow a relationship like that to work.
7. Don't stay with a guy you know isn't right.
You don’t want to put up with something unacceptable, regardless of what it is, that you know would make it difficult to have a long-term relationship with him.
If you know you want to get married and you're looking for the long-term, and you're with a guy you absolutely can't see yourself getting married to, why would you stay? He's only holding you back from finding the right guy that you can spend the rest of your life with.
Even if he's cute, even if he's sweet and lovely, or macho and strong (whatever your type is), if he isn't someone you can see yourself wanting to spend your life with, then why would you stay?
8. Don't tackle other women at a wedding to catch the bouquet.
Yeah... you don’t want to look so overeager that you’re going to wrestle someone’s Aunt Lois to catch the bouquet. If you do happen to snag it, then kudos to you. But just like anything in life, you can't force something to happen — you have to let it happen naturally.
9. Don't make him more important than you are.
You might think that the way to a man's heart is to spend all of your waking time with him, and to drop your friends and family for him. You need to have a life of your own, just as he does.
Maintain or develop a healthy self-confidence and well-rounded life full of interests and relationships. Spending time with other people will actually show that you're a person who cares about others and keeps her life and priorities in perspective.
10. Don't listen to other people.
I guess that would include not listening to me! Go with your gut; trust yourself. It doesn't matter if someone else doesn't think you should be getting married; it's really up to you.
Some people say you shouldn’t get married before a certain age and can give you twenty reasons why not. Life is all about learning to listen to yourself and trust what you find. You can take other people’s advice into consideration, but it really is all about you and how you feel.
11. Don't rush things.
Don't put a timeline or deadline on a proposal. As much as you should be honest about wanting to get married, you shouldn't wag your ring finger in his face and gush, "Oh, I wish I saw something sparkly here!" Or, "Hey, my birthday's coming up! What a great time for you to buy me an engagement ring!"
Don't leave wedding destination magazines around the house or start planning your honeymoon before you have even met his friends. Too much pressure on him can be a good way to chase him away. Again, honesty is great! Creepiness... not so much.
12. Don't be meek.
OK, seriously... if you want to be seen as marriage material, there’s nothing like proposing to him. Of course, you have to ask yourself if he is marriage material.
Wouldn’t it be fun to do the old switcheroo and ask him to marry you? It’ll give you something to talk about to your kids one day and hey, if you record it, your video just may go viral (you're welcome!).
All these items equal up to what it means to be a strong, confident woman who knows what she wants and is willing to take control of her own life and desires.
If you're with somebody you love and you want them to know that you would like to be married one day, the simplest thing to do is (once you know them and love them and trust them) to tell them exactly what you dream of for your life.