13 Men Reveal The Dirty Talk That Makes Them CRAZY-Horny In Bed

We're a weird, weird, weird animal. The more strives we make in the realm of art and technology, the more often we realize that our own behavior is often beyond explication.

A writer for Vice recently lamented, using almost zero examples or definitions, that the men she allows inside of her have a hard time reconciling her feminism with her appreciation for rough sex. (We wondered eight years ago if a feminist can like spankings...)

And while it ain't exactly rocket surgery, the dynamism between our public personas and private ones is one of the things that makes sex so incredible. 

Holy macaroni. if that's not the heart, soul, body and blood of kink.

Despite our tie pins and iPhones, and cool shaved sides of the head haircuts, we're all a bunch of base maniacs who, despite being slightly taller and fatter, aren't that much different than our cave-drawing, poop-flinging ancestors.

You want to get the sex machine in your dude get cranked up to 11? Try these one of these 15 permissive, imperative, complimentary, animalistic kinky phrases. Seriously, it will up your dirty talk game like nobody's business.

(Note: You'll have to use your imagination with capitalization and exclamation points, or else this thing would look like a porn star's DMs exploded.)

1. I want you to cover me in c*m. — Mark, 36, Systems Analyst

2. I want you to bite me. Until it bleeds. — Eric,3 4, Brewmeister 

3. I want to be pinned down and forced. — Mo, 28, Actor

4. You can do whatever you want to me. — Phil, 35, Editor

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5. I don't want any foreplay, f*ck me now. — Jake, 32, Risk Management

6. No one has ever f*cked me like you. — Martin, 39, Advertising

7. Eat my a$$hole. — Kelly, 30, Office Manager

8. I want your sperm all over my face, now. — Jeff, 33, Medical Sales

9. I want your feel your c*m drip out of me. — Richard, 27, Finance

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10. F*ck my p*$$y harder. — Todd, 41, IT

11. Put your c*ck in me. — Steve, 51, Sales 

12. I've never done this before. — Tim, 39, Marketing Wizard

13. Can my friend join? — Greg Simms Jr., 43, Writer

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