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Instead of taking control, they'd rather be controlled.
By Loren Trapanese — Written on Sep 20, 2016
As a millennial woman, I consider myself to be an extrovert — minus the times where I'd rather be at home binge-watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I'm a social butterfly who's always overtly friendly and personable.
I have no problem admitting that I consider myself to be a dominant woman. I like being in control of my routine and taking charge where it's needed. I'm confident in my skill set and confident about who I am. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
However, I've been told in the past — more than once, by close male coworkers — that my confidence is intimidating. Initially, I'll laugh at the comment because it sounds ridiculous, and then I'll make a snarky remark about men who can't handle assertive women. Yada yada.
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One day, during a conversation with a close friend, she mentioned how she'd rather have a man who takes charge during sex because she just wants someone else to take the reins for once.
I thought about that statement and realized that I've always been attracted to men who are assertive and come off as dominant. It got me thinking, and then I took to some research.
In a recent study, research showed men with a genetic makeup linked to social dominance and leadership are seen as more desirable romantic partners by members of the opposite sex.
This makes sense, considering millennial women are exposed to "aggressive" visuals of sex throughout the media, i.e., Fifty Shades of Grey.
Personally, I find there's something so sexy about finally letting go of the "control" I dish out daily and letting my partner do all the manhandling.
Sex is supposed to be fun and experimental. Naturally, when a dominant woman has a sexual partner, it isn't uncommon for her to want to be the one being controlled — aggression is an instant turn-on for us fierce ladies. Sex becomes wilder when the man and woman both know their bodies. When you're insecure about your sexuality and naked self, you wind up pulling back on experimentation.
Although I'm a dominant woman, past partners have always told me they like how I know what I want and am comfortable in my own skin. They've also told me most women aren't vocal in between sheets and assume they won't be doing any work.
When you don't have to ask (or make subtle gestures) to get what you want out of your sexual experiences, sex becomes less work and more fun. When you're with a woman who's more dominant, they'll assert themselves just as much as the man will in bed but not in a "do this, not that" way.
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Being dominant doesn't mean you always have to be the boss; it simply means you naturally take charge. But always being the on top of things is stressful, and when it comes to sex, dominant women want to be on top of someone who has no problem dishing their bossiness right back at you during playtime.
Sex is meant to be sexy, and it's always sexier when you're being pinned up against the wall on a Saturday night making out with a guy who understands just how you want things done.
