Who cares about a bronze medal if you can get right-swiped by Ryan Lochte?
Anyone using Tinder in Rio de Janeiro right now is in for a treat.
Because, not only are the Brazilians a gorgeous (and generously waxed) people, but Tinder in Brazil right now is full of cut Olympic athletes looking to let off a little sexual steam as they hang out in Olympic Village.
Can you imagine it? You’re just swiping through your options… store clerk, web developer, student… statue-esque world champion gymnast who’s only in town for two weeks and isn’t looking for anything serious… it’s the casual sex equivalent of winning the lottery.
If you’re not on Tinder (or not on Tinder in Rio at least), you can still check out what athletes are looking for some post-competition right swipes. Several Instagram accounts have sprung up — the best known is @sportsswipe — that are collecting images of known Olympic athletes with active Tinder profiles in Rio right now.
And the selection is, to put it bluntly, IMPRESSIVE. There are athletes from all over the world looking for hook-ups, including many from Team USA.
Some of the Rio competitors on Tinder currently are swim legend Ryan Lochte, silver-medalist Simone Manuel, Olympic golfer Rickie Fowler, Olympic reserve fencer Race Imboden, and many, many more. (Not to mention a whole LOT of hot Australian athletes.)
There have always been stories about how sexually charged it can get when you have a bunch of young athletes in their physical primes living together, so it just an app like Tinder seems like a logical tool to get those like-minded Adonises together in the easiest way possible.
Also, Tinder athlete hook-ups were even getting press back at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, where gold-medalist snowboarder Jamie Anderson told the press that “Tinder in the Olympic Village is NEXT LEVEL.”
So, don’t just root for your favorite athlete to come home with the gold this year. After devoting so much time and energy to competing at the highest level, shouldn’t we also hope that, in Rio, they also achieve the right swipe of their dreams?
If you want a better ideal of what “next level” Tinder looks like, here are some of our favorite shots of Olympians currently on Tinder at the 2016 Rio Games.
Swimmer Simone Manuel (an American record holder) just won the silver medal in the women’s 400-meter freestyle relay in Rio a few days ago, so, if she swipes you on Tinder, be sure to mention it.
US swim team legend Ryan Lochte already has 11 Olympic medals (5 gold) and is looking to add some more in Rio this year. (He has also been quoted as saying he’s “not looking for anything serious in Rio,” but has already been seen hanging out with a Playboy playmate.)
Pro golfer Rickie Fowler has had a disappointing season in 2016, but maybe a gold medal in Rio (or some casual Olympic Village playtime) will turn his year around.
If anyone in Rio has an unrealistic (and super gross) "sisters" fantasy, Ania and Maria Wierzbowska — competitors on the 2016 Olympic rowing team for Poland — both on Tinder at the moment.
This isn’t fair. Race Imboden is an Olympic fencer AND he’s a runway model. Sure, he only qualified as a reserve team member for the 2016 games, but still he’s way cooler than we are.
Professional Australian cyclist (and 2012 Olympic medalist) Kaarle McCulloch is competing on the 2016 Rio track cycling sprint squad, even though this picture makes her seem like a natural for a gold medal in archery.
Nathan Schrimsher will be competing in the modern pentathlon for Team USA in Rio this year, so who knows how he’s going to find time for Tinder? (I’m sure he’ll find a way.)