5 Big (HUGE) Things We've Learned About Orlando Bloom's Penis

Photo: Twitter
orlando bloom naked penis pics
Buzz, Sex

Katy Perry is a lucky woman.

It only takes one good photographer and a celebrity who doesn’t mind the hot sun percolating his private parts to make for a welcoming distraction from the political turmoil we’re currently in.

On again, off again couple, Katy Perry, 31, and her very hot boyfriend, Orlando Bloom, 39, were caught paddle boarding in Sardinia, Italy on August 2nd. This usually wouldn’t make for a hot news item, but Bloom apparently thought he was auditioning for the show Naked and Afraid as he nixed his shorts to go willy nilly. 

Appearing happy and in love, Perry and Bloom were spotted in the ocean, enjoying the summer sun. Though Perry kept herself covered in a skimpy bikini, Bloom chose to wear his birthday suit, with no objections from his girlfriend.

The New York Daily News obtained the photographs, but blacked out his penis. I’m sure it’s only matter of time before the uncensored pictures surface, but until then we have to use our imagination. And oh boy, are we!

Here are 5 reasons why we are SO very happy these pictures are around:

1. Orlando Bloom is effing HOT.

Ever since we laid eyes on him in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, we were smitten. Between his accent, and the fact he looks amazing with and without some scruff, he’s definitely one of the men on our “list.” You know the list I’m talking about: The list we all have with our significant other guaranteeing a freebie if we ever have the chance with a celebrity of our choosing. Yeah, he's on the list!

2. Based on the BIG black block covering the goods, we have a feeling Katy Perry has NO complaints.

If only we had an “undo” button on photos posted on the internet, we, too, would be enchanted by Katy Perry’s Prince Charming. But alas, we have to use our detective skills to determine if he’s packing, and based on what we see? HE’S PACKING!

3. Like Justin Bieber’s nude leak, we know someone has the originals.

It won’t be long before Twitter is abuzz with the original Orlando Bloom pictures, showing his au natural state. He can’t be mad about it, right? He’s a freakin’ trending topic! There’s no such thing as bad press, right?

4. Based on my Facebook news feed, I now know who loves dick.

You’re always going to have the conservative folks who deny caring about such things, but let’s face it: it’s scandalous and we love it. I’ve seen several people post about Orlando Bloom within the last hour. This guy probably hasn’t had that much action in ... actually, he probably gets a lot of action. Never mind.

5. We also know which celebs love a good dick pic.

According to Twitter, it’s not only us lowly people looking for the uncensored version. Celebrities near and far are begging for some naked Bloom.

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