Food should not squirt when you stick a chopstick in it.
Traditional Chinese dim sum is delicious.
These sweet or savory steamed buns are a staple of Chinese cuisine.
So the idea that you can now stick a chopstick in one and make it look like it's pooping or lactating is deeply upsetting. But also, kind of great?
You can tell that I'm feeling conflicted about it.
Dim Sum Icon in China is the reason for my current state of anxiety.
Their entire menu is dedicated to flipping traditional dim sum on its head. This includes anthropomorphic buns that leak fluids when you pop them.
That's right, squirting food.
Now as a woman I'm a firm supporter of female ejaculation. Squirting for the win.
That said, I don't know how I feel about my food squirting.
Like, that is going in my mouth. I don't need to be thinking about breast milk or getting diarrhea when I'm chowing down on some tasty treats.
On the other hand, think of all the amazing selfies and/or Vines you could make as you enjoyed these?!
They also sell food like these tragic looking eggs:
Sad faced food is all well and good, but let's be real, the star of the show is this boob monster leaking out creamy fluid.
Why is it that China and Japan are so much more willing to mainline the weird and adorable (sometimes both at once) than we are here in the States?
I mean sure, we get penis-based coffees and donuts, but even those are consider kind of outre. If you see a weird food in this country, you immediately Instagram it and before you know it, the thing is making headlines.
Whereas in China and Japan if you see a cake shaped like a beautiful kitty cat you're like "oh cool, it must be Monday I guess, nothing to see here."
Novelty aside, I can't say I'd really enjoy staring down my food and watching it perform a bodily function before I decide to put it inside my mouth.
But I will say that I have watched this squirting bun video easily 18 times. Why is it so deeply compelling? I should admit here that I also love watching zit-popping videos, and I find them just as watchable as this one.
So if you're a weirdo like me, maybe you'll dig it. But by and large most people don't want to think about clogged and infected pores exploding while enjoying a daily meal.