He's a liar if he's spouting these excuses
Guys play women for fools. It happens. And it usually happens that women are too ignorant to realize it, too wimpy to confront it, or just find it easier to coast along.
But there are certain phrases men use that are almost always certainly lies. And when he uses them, he's playing you for a fool, and banking on you being too dumb to realize the truth. It's not fair to you. It's not good boyfriend behavior, and frankly, should call for a serious reevaluation of the relationship — not the thing itself, but the fact that he lied about it.
Being taken for a fool means he doesn't respect you, and that's a serious problem. Here are 7 things he says that are proof he's playing you.
1. "I just have to work late again."
See if he's working on some big project you can independently verify. If you can't, then ask yourself: Why is his ass always in the office after quitting time? "I have to work late" is the most common excuse for cheaters. They know you can't easily question their work habits, and that you have to rely on their word for what they're up to.
But chances are, he isn't working late — he could bring that work home — and he's seeing someone else on the side. This is especially true if he always comes home saying he ate dinner. They might order out some nights, but not all of them.
2. "That lipstick on my collar is yours."
This is the biggest bullsh*t lie he can throw at you. Examine the lipstick. Doesn't match any shade you own, does it? Lipstick's almost impossible to get out, and he probably didn't want to waste a good dress shirt. He figured you wouldn't notice, and if you did, he could pawn the smear off on you. Not.
If there's lipstick on his collar, it's someone else's, and you need to confront him immediately.
3. "You gave me that hickey."
You probably don't regularly give hickeys, because you're not in high school. Hickeys also only last a few days. Have you had sex in the past two or three days, and do you remember spending a lot of time in that one spot? Probably not. Mistresses regularly give hickeys, because even though they're so high school, they mark a man as your own. He's cheating on you, girlfriend.
4. "I'm just going to the strip club to watch."
Newsflash: no one goes to the strip club just to watch naked women gyrate on a pole. They go to the strip club to pay naked women to gyrate on their crotches. They may even go into the back room — and there's always a back room — for a hand job or blow job.
Even if your guy's getting dragged along to a bachelor party, and has no intention of doing anything other than drinking, his friends will get him a lapdance because he's a prude and it's funny. If he says he's just going to watch, he's lying.
5. "No, I don't watch internet porn."
I'll quote Avenue Q here and say that the internet is really great... for porn. The only thing bigger than porn is Pokémon Go; that is to say, everybody does it. All men click on some porno links once in a while, if just for the novelty of it. Then they lie to their dear wives and say there's no way they look at porn, because porn is disgusting. If you know he's not religious, he's bullsh*tting you.
6. "No, I don't masturbate."
Every single man jerks off in the shower. That's part of being a man, along with shaving your face and developing leg hair. He also probably rubs one out to that internet porn he swears he's not watching, to the hot next door neighbor, to Alyssa Milano, and to some celebrity from the 1980s you've never heard of.
That's life. And he's lying about it. He must think you're really stupid if you'll believe this one.
7. "I used to use prostitutes, but I don't anymore."
Once a payer for sex, always a payer for sex. Your reaction should be two-fold. First, be grateful that he trusts you enough to confide in you. Then get angry that it's a false sense of trust he's lulling you into, because if he used to use prostitutes, he totally still does. Maybe that's why he's working late occasionally.
But with the ease of finding a good prostitute these days — he can cruise the internet, not the main drag — it's too easy a habit to give up. He may not do it all the time. He may only do it once a year. But he still does it. And he doesn't want you to know about, hence the false sense of trust.
Men will play you for a fool, often when you ask them questions that make you vulnerable. You don't want him cheating on you, or thinking of the hot neighbor while he jerks it, or looking at random girls on the internet, who you worry will be better looking than you.
You really don't want him banging girls who aren't you, paid or not. He takes advantage of your vulnerability to lie. He might think he's doing the easy thing, that he's keeping you happy. Really, he's playing you for a fool. And you need to evaluate if you can be in a relationship with someone who lies to you so egregiously.