Because the biggest human sex organ is the brain.
The word sapiosexual has been making the rounds lately.
For those of you who don't know (like me until five minutes ago), a sapiosexual is a person who finds intelligence to be the most sexually attractive feature a partner can possess.
That's right: if you're sapiosexual you get boners (or lady boners) for brains, brains, brains.
You're like a zombie, only instead of eating the brains you crave, you have sex with them. I mean, hopefully that's just figurative.
So while others might find their heart racing when they spot a pair of rich brown eyes, or a nice butt, it's someone's wit and intelligence that gets a sapiosexual all hot and bothered.
If you're looking for ways to turn on a sapiosexual, fret not. We've got you covered. Here are some surefire turn ons!
1. A lecture on Newtonian mechanics
Forget dinner and a movie. Show the sapiosexual in your life that you care with a four hour lecture. To ensure getting laid, afterwards suggest a fun "pop quiz" on what you have just learned.
2. Figuring out the check at a dinner for 35 people
This is nightmare fuel for some, but for a sapiosexual watching you figure things out sans calculator and with a cool head is the most erotic thing to happen in a tapas bar maybe ever.
3. The Ancient Greek alphabet
They might not be impressed by your singing at Karaoke, but their jaws will drop when you alpha beta her delta gamma.
4. Finnegan's Wake as bathroom reading
Want to impress a sapiosexual? Invite them over for a drink. When they avail themselves of the facilities and find James Joyce's unreadable masterpiece beside the crapper, they'll know you mean business.
5. Learning a new hobby
You know, like atom smashing.
6. The word "semantics"
It doesn't matter the context. Just purr the word, letting it roll off of well glossed lips and you're in.
7. Tom Hardy
Because not getting turned on by Tom Hardy is stupid.
8. A Museum membership
Some dates are impressed when you flash a platinum card. With a sapiosexual you'll have better luck with your museum card.
9. The Container Store
Surprise the sapiosexual in your life with a visit to the motherland of all home and office organization. If they make it to labels and still have panties on, something's wrong.
Not movies. Films. There's a difference. Another turn on? Letting them explain that difference to you.