Introducing the hilarious (but unfortunately necessary) guide to explaining Donald Trump to kids.
This primary season is like no other. It’s the first time we’ve got a serious female contender!
That’s right, I’m talking Trump, Donald Trump.
It’s tough to pick just one thing to revile about the man. It’s so much easier to mock his appearance (tiny hands, a decomposing seagull as hair) than to discuss his beliefs.
That’s because ripping into his politics and his general agenda just makes me deeply, deeply sad.
You know, because I’m a human who exists on planet earth.
On the other hand, discussing his pig anus mouth continues to be a pure delight.
But you can’t exactly go around bandying pig anus talk when your kids come a-knockin’ with questions about who this guy is.
So how do you start to talk about Donald Trump with your kids?
It’s awful enough that we can longer just say “He was born wealthy, puts his name on everything, and once was on a TV show where he was sexist to women and known for loudly firing people.”
Thankfully, comedian Michael Ian Black has done all the heavy lifting so that we don’t have to.
Black has tackled the subject of Trump for kids in a book called A Child’s First Book of Trump.
Black has taken a page from Dr. Seuss’s book (not literally, I’m just very, very good at puns), with this witty colorful explanation of Trump for kids and their equally befuddled parents.
I love how they have reduced Trump to his most important elements: His spherical orange shape and hue, and his passion for running his fool mouth.
The conceit from the go is that Trump is a creature of sorts, but definitely not a human being.
And so the examination begins.
We need this to be a real world thing! What the birth certificate nuts did to Obama, we all need to be doing to Trump.
Frankly, our group would sound far less insane.
I am going to be buying two of these.
One I shall give to my precocious 2-year-old godson, though it will have to be relegated to daytime reading.
After all, I don't want to give him nightmares (BURN, Donald, BURN!).
The other copy is totally for me.
I strongly suggest that you do the same!
A Child's First Book Of Trump is available for presale for $13.50.