Is he the right man or just good for right now?
So you’ve been dating for a few months now, and things are going really well. The sex is hot, the chemistry is off the charts, you both enjoy the same hobbies, and it seems that you both just really click in every way. He might actually be the real deal, you think!
Not so fast, though. You’ve felt this way before and things didn't work out. After that phase where everything is rosy and dreamy wore off, too many of those small irritations and warnings suddenly grew into major red flags and you painfully realized that the two of you just weren't compatible.
Are you still in the honeymoon phase and just not admitting it? Are you once again in a place where you’re being blind to his darker side? Are you only showing him your best self? Have you been honest with yourself and him about your needs, desires, and concerns?
Have you been in situations yet where you needed his support and was he there for you? Have you both been honest and vulnerable about any secrets or personal baggage? Does he bring out the best in you and vice versa?
There are just so many questions! But how much time does it take to be sure?
Sure, there are those couples who have been together forever and swear that it was "love at first sight." But I bet if you asked them they’d readily tell you that making it work took work. Lots of work. And let’s face it, the majority of long-term relationships didn't start in this romantic fashion.
Getting to know someone takes time — a lot of time — with many varied shared experiences and lots of honest conversations with him and with yourself. Enjoy that first phase of bliss; it's essential to creating that initial bond that you'll build on. Just don’t be in a rush to the finish line. Relish in the journey as well!
Our panel of YourTango Experts have much to say on this topic and have great advice on just how long you should take to figure out if your relationship has the potential for being something long lasting. Melanie Gorman (YourTango Experts Senior VP) leads this informative, yet light-hearted discussion with Psychologist Stan Tatkin, Psychologist and Dating Coach Sue Mandel, and Counselor/Dating Coach Samantha Burns. Enjoy and learn!