Tis the season for handsome groomsmen and self-pity!
Warmer weather means the flowers start to bloom, the pools and beaches open, ice cream and picnics…and the attack of the wedding invitations.
Yes, you've guessed it. Spring means the beginning of wedding season.
With the natural backdrop in full bloom and the weather not too stifling, it’s hard to blame everyone for wanting to get married during the same couple of months.
Hearing as yet another friend just (or will shortly) became engaged or watching as they exchange their vows…it’s enough to make your heart hurt with longing, sadness, and jealousy. Or make you want to drink.
Trust me, you are not alone.
Let me just take a second to tell you that those feelings you have are totally normal and there is nothing wrong with it. Trust me.
What’s important is how you handle it. Here’s a helpful guide to help you float through this difficult season with the grace and dignity that the goddess in you deserves.
1. You don’t have to go to every single wedding you’re invited to.
Seriously. You are not a bad person for saying no to the wedding of that friend you spoke to that one time in high school. Think about this rationally. If you go, you know you’re just going to put yourself through a fresh wave of negative emotions for someone you don’t really have much to do with. Why would you do that to yourselves?
2. You don’t have to stay for the whole thing.
Ok, so there are some weddings that you might not want to go to but you know you really should go to: an old childhood friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, a friend of the family, a co-worker. You know if you don’t go, you’re just going to feel guilty about it but at the same time, you’d really rather not go to yet another wedding. Solution: reply that you will only be able to attend for the ceremony. And don't be afraid to leave early. If you feel that as the night goes on, you’re feeling worse, make your excuses and leave. Don’t ruin a nice wedding (for yourself just as much as for others!) by pushing yourself until you’re completely miserable! Leave so the night stays a happy memory, not something you regret.
3. Make sure you look hot.
This is not so men will shove each other out of the way to flirt with you (although that is a happy bonus). Make sure you look hot for yourself because sometimes, if you know you look hot, it will help you feel hot which will give you the confidence you need to get through the wedding even though you’re going alone.
4. DO NOT GET DRUNK!
Drunk you might do or say things they regret, especially if they are feeling lonely. Remember that this day isn’t about you and ruining it for the bride and groom is NOT going to make you feel any better (trust us on this).
5. Take a deep breath and remember why you are there.
I know this is one of those “are you serious” suggestions but it’s true. If you feel like all of your emotions are getting a bit too overwhelming, step outside or into the bathroom and take a moment just to think about why you are at that wedding. Chances are you said yes to attending the whole thing because you felt close to the bride or groom (or both). Remember that today is about them. You don't want to spend the entire time moping about and have that be the only thing you remember from their big day.
6. Make sure to smile (but also wear waterproof make-up just in case).
As the saying goes: fake it till you make it. Pretending you’re happy by smiling and forcing yourself to laugh can actually help you to actually be happy and laugh. And if there’s a moment (probably during the ceremony or their first dance) that you can’t help but cry a little, well that’s what the waterproof makeup it for. And don’t worry: no one will think any less of you. Just smile as you do it and everyone will think it’s because you’re so happy for the couple (which will only make you look like you’re a good caring friend, a definite plus!).
7. Most importantly: know that your time will come!
Do not let yourself be discouraged! If it’s happening for this lovely couple in front of you, it can happen to you too! Who wouldn’t want to marry such an amazing person who smiles and is happy for others even while she’s hurting a little inside? Have patience and have faith and one day, you’ll be the one making people jealous!