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Who knew?!
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on May 17, 2022
Have you ever been in a situation like a job interview or a party, and suddenly with no warning, you fart? You feel shame, embarrassment and humiliation for something that's a human bodily function.
Most of the time, we don't go around farting in public or when we're in front of somebody we want to impress.
Everybody farts, but when you're starting out in a relationship, the last thing you want to do is to pass gas in front of your new partner. Maybe you avoid trigger foods or work at not being around them when you feel a gas bomb coming.
Farting in front of your partner can be a huge milestone. When you cut the cheese in front of your partner, it's not that you don't care what they think of you — you just trust they won't judge you for something they do as well.
But a 2015 survey from Mic found that most people wait between two to six months into a relationship to fart (29 percent), which not surprisingly is the golden time when "I love yous" are exchanged.
The second highest response was six to twelve months (25.2 percent) and the third-highest was from those who farted just a few weeks after meeting their partners (22.4 percent). The rest of the respondents said they would never intentionally let one slip. Better stay away from beans, grains, and garlic then.
The truth is that farts play their own crucial role in creating intimacy in a relationship. You've got to be comfortable to be able to fart with abandon in front of other people.
Plus, farting is funny. I don't care if it's immature — fart jokes are almost always funny and are a great way to break a tense situation. Also, farting shows that you have a sense of humor and can be used to create inside jokes between you and your partner. And if you can fart in front of the person you love without feeling embarrassed, then marry them.
Farting is also a great equalizer. If you're in the middle of an argument and someone farts, it's almost impossible to stay angry. And if you feel safe enough around your significant other to fart, then your relationship is strong and built upon acceptance and truth. Now you know what to do when Josh doesn't do the dishes and you start to get into an argument. Just fart.
If someone loves you when you're being a little stinker, they probably really love you.
Because when you love someone, you accept them for everything that makes them who they are, including the good and the rank.
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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day. Visit her website or her Instagram.