Don't let him be the one that got away.
It’s sad when a relationship ends. It’s kind of hard to describe the feeling when you know you're in love with someone who you're no longer with—the utter heartbreak that sends jolts of longing and regret through your entire body.
Nothing really captures that hollow feeling of regret that ends up overwhelming your heart—particularly when it comes to a breakup.
Is it possible to get your ex back though?
Yes and no. The reality is—you can't force anyone to be with you. There's nothing you can do to ensure you get a certain outcome from somebody.
But, there are 4 things that you can do to maximize your chances of getting the person you loved and lost back.
1. Leave them alone for at least a month if the breakup is fresh.
If you just broke up, it’s best to avoid constant communication unless there's some specific reason to—you have children together or some kind of mutually shared situation that’s unavoidable.
What I mean by leave them alone is—don’t bring up the notion of getting back together just yet. Let the wounds somewhat heal before trying to reunite.
If you've been broken up for a long time—ignore this. The reason you want to put some time between the breakup is the bad memories—if there are bad memories—are still fresh and your ex’s emotions are extremely raw. Time offers perspective.
2. Improve yourself and focus on what you can control.
The key to getting your ex back is … making a concerted effort to improving yourself and your life.
Do things you love to do. Re-discover a hobby you used to do or discover a new hobby. Change up your everyday routine.
If you make an effort to change the things in your life that you can control, your mindset—along with the energy you project—becomes more attractive.
3. Assess—honestly—whether or not you are compatible.
Before you rush back into something, make an effort to figure out whether you and your ex truly mesh as people. Consider the reasons you want them back and try to think of how you interact as people. Does the interaction feel effortless and natural?
Or—when you think about it—was the only reason you were together out of loneliness or wanting to be with someone instead of being alone? If this is the truth, perhaps getting back isn’t the right move.
4. Realize that even if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, you'll be okay.
This is an extremely important step when it comes to this venture. If your entire sense of happiness hinges on whether your ex comes back to you or not, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. This creates a needy vibe. Neediness is an automatic turn off—and will stop your ex in their tracks of even considering getting back together.
This article was originally published at MeetMindful. Reprinted with permission from the author.