Is staying in love simply impossible?
1. There's too much emphasis on instant gratification.
We live in an age of high speed everything: high speed internet, high speed 3G phone service. We expect everything to happen for us immediately, and that's a problem for love. You can't go on three dates and expect to be ready to live with each other.
2. Drugs and alcohol are used too heavily.
This is hardly a universal trait among people who have a hard time being in love. It's not that roasting a bowl after work or having a beer with some friends on the weekend is really all that bad for you and your love life, but it's when it becomes addiction that it's problematic. In many cases, drug and alcohol use are on the decline, but it's still love's worst enemy in a lot of ways.
3. Sleeping around is on the rise.
I'd argue that there's nothing inherently wrong about sleeping around when you're not in a steady relationship, aside from the possibility that diseases spread. Use protection. Go at your own pace. You don't owe anyone anything.
But in the same way that drugs damage your potential for love when you self-medicate, sex can be a kind of medication, too. If you're fine with sex that isn't particularly special, that's fine. But if you're using it to fill a void in your life, it may hinder your ability to love fully in the future.
4. People are into themselves more now than ever.
More and more, we think about our needs before the needs of anyone else. It's getting to the point of insanity. No one wants to take care of anything that doesn't personally pertain to them. This constant self-interest makes it hard to let love into your life.
5. Dating happens because it's what you think you're supposed to do.
Everything that I've talked about so far pertains to everyone, but this one is a bit more common among the young I've found. We feel like we have to date just because that's what you do. But that's really not the case. It's important to be able to love yourself before you fall in love with someone else. Take time to get to know you.
6. It's harder to make compromises.
From the moment we're born, we're told that we have to go to college, get these jobs, have a career, and all of this other ambitious stuff. We're also told to have a family, to have kids, to have that stupid house in the suburbs. The emphasis on success takes away from finding a partner and starting a family.
It's important to remember to compromise with each other. It doesn't mean giving up everything, it just means making it work.
7. Being in love is a fairytale to some.
Love is different from person to person. Each relationship is unlike the last. It's important to let it take the form it's going to take, not force narratives of the fairytale love.
8. We just aren't that great at loving.
I've seen it. I've felt it. I've experienced it in myself. We're not that great at relationships and being in love. There's no reason to be ashamed.
It's important that we grow as people. It's important to remember that being in love is like being a part of the best team you could dream of. It's important to remember how to talk to each other. Remember, we're all people and we all want to be treated a certain way. So, embody that.
This article was originally published at Higher Perspective. Reprinted with permission from the author.