Emotionally intelligent people are the best people.
Emotionally intelligent people are the advice-givers amongst their group of friends. Do you have a friend who seems to know what you're feeling before you've verbalized it? This friend is emotionally intelligent. There are many of those people in the world. They are the healers, the untrained therapists among friends.
"Oh, ask Stacy. She always knows what to do." Stacy is emotionally intelligent. That's why she knows what your boyfriend is thinking having never had more than a five minute conversation with the dude.
Here are 10 signs you're emotionally intelligent.
1. People often say to you, "You get me."
When a person says, "You get me," they're communicating the fact that their emotions are clear to you. You have completely understood what they're conveying and, in turn, offered them useful feedback. You've mirrored back to them what they've been feeling for sometime now. They haven't been able to articulate this feeling, but you managed to nail it in a sentence.
2. You're able to eloquently speak your mind.
People who are emotionally intelligent (like you) are able to say what's on their mind without pondering what that might be. You're unafraid of emotions. Perhaps you've spent some time in therapy. Maybe you're naturally self-aware. Whatever the case may be, you tell others what you feel when those feelings come to the surface.
Part of being emotionally intelligent is having the ability to express your feelings without being afraid of the consequences. The person on the other end of those feelings may not like what you have to say, but you own those feelings.
3. You've spent time in therapy.
For the most part, people who have a keen emotional intelligence have spent time seeing a therapist. This is because these folks see the value in having emotional insight. Emotions are something to be treasured and cultivated.
People who are closed off from their emotions are the complete opposite. They don't see the value in seeing a therapist because they don't see emotions as an asset. Emotionally intelligent folks are the ones who feel things on a deeper level and are happy to tell their therapist about them. Exploring emotions in therapy provides emotionally intelligent people with self-awareness.
4. You're intuitive.
Emotionally intelligent people sense when something is off in a relationship. Maybe your boyfriend is mad at you about something but hasn't verbalized it. An emotionally intelligent person will say to their boyfriend, "Are you mad about something?" They aren't afraid to open up the dialogue and invite emotions into the conversation.
5. You know when a relationship is over.
You sense when there's a shift in a relationship. Maybe you have a sense that your partner is cheating on you or that the relationship isn't going anywhere. Like it or not, you will be confronted with the fact that there's a change in the relationship and you need to make a decision about how to move forward with this valuable insight.
6. You are, yourself, a therapist.
Sometimes extremely emotionally intelligent people become therapists. This is great for the rest of us, if we happen to be seeing these people as practitioners. You want an emotionally intelligent person as a therapist because this individual will provide you with insight into your behavior.
7. You understand why people behave the way they do.
Emotionally intelligent people are extremely self-aware. They know why they do the things they do. Even if their behavior seems impulsive and self-destructive to others, they're aware of the reasons and motivations behind their behavior. If you ask an emotionally intelligent person why she did something that's perplexing to you, she will tell you clearly.
8. You don't make emotional assumptions.
Emotionally intelligent people will ask their friends how they're feeling. They will periodically check in with their loved ones to see how they're doing.
9. You think — and pause — before speaking.
When tensions rise and emotions heighten, people can say things in anger that they don't mean. Those with emotional intelligence know to take a moment of silence before speaking in anger.
10. You don't feel the need to speak all the time.
Emotionally intelligent folks know that sometimes silence is golden. We don't need to fill our space with words all the time. Sometimes we need to chill and process sh*t before we talk to one another.