Pretending it can't happen to you is a BIG mistake!
Infidelity is the big, bad Bogey Man of marriage.
On some level, we're all aware that our spouse could cheat, and how badly that would impact our relationship. We also know that WE could cheat on our spouse, and all of the harm (and guilt) that would result.
Yet, even with this understanding of how badly infidelity shatters trust, connection, and, ultimately, the marriage itself, somehow, in our minds, it's still an option.
Perhaps sites like Ashley Madison cause us to think about infidelity as casually and as often as we do. We also talk about cheating more openly today more than ever. If you do a Google search for the phrase "is he cheating" there are 158 BILLION pages indexed with this topic. (That's billion, with a B.) That's an insane amount of content on the topic, for sure.
Whether we like it or not, the possibility of our spouse cheating is very real ... for all of us.
And the internet now has a wealth of ways to indulge your fears and worry on the matter. You can find everything from investigation sites that examine the DNA of your partner's underwear to sites that scope out your spouse's social media accounts and tell you who they're talking to and how often. (If you want references for these sites, hit us up in the comments and we'll share details.)
And when it comes to worry about infidelity, it turns out — men and women worry about different things. Overall, he worries that she'll actually have sex with someone else, and she worries that he'll fall in love with someone else emotionally.
Somehow, the physical act of sex alone seems less threatening to the ladies, go figure.
If you worry about your spouse's behavior and you really want to affair proof your marriage, that must happen LONG before your partner starts looking at other people. Affair proofing a marriage begins at home.
One of the most common questions engaged couples bring to premarital therapy is: What can we do to protect our marriage from infidelity?
Well, the truth is, there is nothing you can do to 100 percent guarantee that your spouse won't cheat.
But according to our panel of Experts, there are MANY steps you can take to leverage the odds in your favor. Actions and behaviors that reduce the likelihood that cheating will become an unfortunate reality in your marriage.
Psychotherapists Dr. Foojan Zeine and Tabatha Bird Weaver joined couples counselor Garet Bedrosian and Dr. John Gray (author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) to discuss the best love-enhancing ways to prevent infidelity in a marriage.
Hopefully, their answers will inspire you and to put these positive relationship behaviors in place.
Watch the video above and recognize that affair-proofing your marriage is an inside job. If you want your husband or wife coming home to you, having great sex with you, being devoted only to you, then you must do the same for them.
Have questions about what to do if an affair happens? Reach out to our Experts for support and advice. Dr. Zeine, Tabitha and Garet are all available to help. Don't let fear of your partner cheating on you paralyze you into doing nothing (and possibly neglecting the health and vitality of your relationships in the process). Take action today, it just might save your marriage.