4 Signs It's High Time To Get Out Of Your Relationship (And FAST)

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Time to start the moving on process.

By Lauren Cioffi

Ever want to break up with someone for a really long time and never have the guts to do it? Well…That was me one month before I started this blog. Except it wasn’t my boyfriend I was trying to end a relationship with: It was my job.

You know that jerky guy that treats the girl wrong in all those romance movies? The guy who realizes what a big mistake he made when she walks away and moves on to something bigger and better? Well if my job was my boyfriend, that was basically him.

When I started toying with the idea of leaving my job because of how unhappy I was, everyone said the same thing: “Don’t leave a job unless you have another one lined up.”

Their advice was ringing in my head for months! Would you say that if my job was a guy? Don’t break up with a boyfriend unless you have another one lined up? Are you people nuts!??! 

When I finally left my job, I felt liberated. I felt strong and confident that I had made such a brave decision for myself. It was like I was standing up for myself and shouting it to the world, “I will not tolerate this mistreatment anymore! I will not settle for less than I deserve!!”

Then it got me thinking of all the times I was in bad relationships and was afraid to leave.

How do you know when it is time to throw in the towel and move on to some other bigger and better thing that’s in the unknown future? And how do you find the confidence to do it?

Whether you are walking away from a job, a relationship here are some key warning signs that would make leaving a good decision.

1. Your values don’t match. 

If you’re the girl that values your time with family and your guy doesn’t seem to care about your sister’s upcoming wedding – you have a problem.

If you feel like what is truly important to you is being compromised on a regular basis with little return, it is definitely a good decision to walk away from your investment. No relationship is ever perfect, but you should never be sacrificing what you believe to be too much and too often, while getting little in return.

2. You're sticking around because things were once awesome.

Don’t linger in your past. If things were once great for you, that’s fantastic. Cherishing those memories is fine, but if the happy thoughts are all about things that happened months or years ago, you have a serious problem!

You should never stick around thinking, “It was once wonderful,” if it is just terribly awful now. People change. Relationships change.

The first four years of my career were amazing, but the last year wasn’t. If I stuck around, I would still be miserable!

3. You suddenly don’t feel confident.

It’s hard to recognize abuse when it is happening — and it’s especially hard for some to admit they are in an unhealthy relationship. But if you find yourself less confident and feel not so great about yourself compared to the way you felt about yourself before the relationship — then pack that suitcase and run girl!

Seriously. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship that makes you feel less than.

4. You're sticking around for the Image or because you don’t want to look like you failed.

Me keeping a job that made me feel terrible because I was afraid of a gap on my resume is the same as you sticking around in a relationship because you're afraid of what other people will think when you call it quits.

Married? Living Together? Have a cute dog named Ruffus that you don’t want a public and messy custody battle over? If you are unhappy, it does not matter what anyone else thinks and it doesn’t matter if your financial security is compromised!

You need to live your life in a way that makes you proud and makes you happy: Money doesn’t buy happiness. And who cares if your out of the dating pool for a while or without a partner for a short time.

Your values are more important than what’s on your resume: Even your dating resume. 

This article was originally published at BlogHer. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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