I have no problem with people calling me a crazy cat lady, with the exception that I'm not actually crazy. And I don't own ten or more cats. I'm more of an "obsessed cat lady," and even still, if the shoe fits...
Being a cat lady is a lifestyle choice, and a fine one at that. There's really no reason to hide our love for cats, because there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it's a pretty fulfilling life. Aside from cats being so damn cute all the time, they're super-independent, won't hide their true feelings from you, and are a great replacement for a human best friend. I admire that.
But before you start dating a cat lady (because she has great traits other than loving cats), here's what you need to know:
1. We LOVE cats. OK, you already knew that. But sometimes that love borders on obsession, especially with our own cats. Don't be surprised if our love slowly consumes your life, too.
2. We own at least 10 cat-related items. From things we wear every day like hoodies or socks, to cat pen-holders on our desks, to ice cube trays, we love all things cats. Especially Pusheen ... we love everything Pusheen.
3. We have cat hair on literally every piece of clothing we own. Sometimes we can scrape all the cat hair off our clothing and make an entirely new cat out of it. And the cat hair is 100 percent transferrable to your cashmere sweater, so beware. Because of that, we have lint rollers tucked in every corner of our home and purse.
4. We don't let our allergies come between us and our love for cats. There's nothing a simple allergy pill won't fix, right? We'd rather be sneezing our asses off than NOT have a cat within 50 feet of us.
5. We have a lot of pictures of our cat(s) on our phone. Most of the pictures in our phone or on our computer are of our cats. (And when I say most of them, I mean, like, all of them.) Don't take it personally if we don't have enough memory space for pictures of you.
7. We're dedicated members of Catspotting on Facebook. We comment or like almost every picture posted, so we expect you to at least go Awww with us when we look at all the stray cats in Greece or neighborhood cats in Australia.
8. We utilize the internet for cat things. Our browser search history includes "cute cat videos," "cats doing funny things," and "how can I become a cat?" (No, seriously, tell me how.)
9. We aren't grossed out by a cat's bodily functions. Licking, puking, pooping outside of the litter box, etc. — it's all pretty tame to us. Once you've cleaned up 10+ years of hair balls, you'll understand.
10. We actually feel special when our cats bring us presents. Presents, AKA small, dead animals. Yes, of course it means they love us; no, it's not a sign that they'll try to kill us next.
11. If you don't like cats, we DEFINITELY won't date you. Because you're replaceable, but cats are forever.