Do NOT try these at home.
Somehow, we're supposed to believe that climbing through a woman's window in the middle of the night is romantic, instead of the reason restraining orders were invented.
But it's Johnny Depp or whoever, so she can totally ignore the fact that he's a creeper. When it comes to movies, apparently, the deciding factor between stalking and romance is whether or not the guy is attractive.
Look back at these classic scenes and TELL ME they wouldn't be traumatizing if they happened in real life:
1. Twilight — "Hey I just might murder you while we make out, NBD."
What would you do if you woke up in a pitch black room with a vampire leering over you? If your answer is ultimately make out with him after exchanging wistful glances and awkward sighing, then congratulations: you too could write a Twilight novel.
When you check under your bed for monsters, it's not so you can fall in love with them; it's because they're monsters. Count Chocula would never pull this sh*t.
2. Say Anything — "Let's listen to the song we banged to, along with your family and all your neighbors."
Have you ever fantasized about John Cusack creeping around on your lawn in the middle of the night like a lost meth addict? No? What if he had a boom box and blasted the song that was playing when you had sex?
I'm guessing still no. I'm also guessing you'd call the cops for disturbing the peace.
3. Love Actually — "Shut your mouth and read this while I play Christmas carols."
If you like your professions of love to feel like a hostage situation, then Love Actually is the movie for you. I don't know what's more uncomfortable: having someone leer at you while you read, or listening to Christmas carols.
The writer of this scene took two of the most awkward situations on earth, and crammed them together into one cringe-worthy train wreck.
This seems like the kind of stunt the villain from Saw would pull on his love interest. Certainly not a mentally healthy individual.
4. Groundhog Day — "I need 30 years of practice to figure out how to be a halfway decent human being."
Groundhog Day might be the ultimate stalker fantasy. Bill Murray plays a piece of sh*t weatherman who keeps reliving the titular day over and over again.
When he falls for his coworker, he decides to take advantage of the plot device by learning every single thing about her — her likes, dislikes, fears, habits, and surely what her bicycle seat smells like.
And surprise! She falls for him after he gains every piece of mental and emotional leverage possible.
She'll never know, but how does he live with the knowledge that he played her over the course of decades? Unless, of course, he's a CREEPER.
5. The Notebook — "Go out with me or I'll kill myself. Wait, that worked?"
Ryan Gosling playing a character who can't get a date is about as believable as Bill Cosby’s not guilty plea.
That aside, he needs to threaten to harm himself in order to get the attention of his love interest. Isn't this Emotional Abuse 101?
6. Shrek — "I know I've been an ogre for like a second, but I'm ready to make out with a monster now."
OK, we have to cut the film a little slack for being a kids movie, but still. Shrek breaks into Fiona's wedding, she transforms into an ogre (just like him, aww), and they share a kiss as they fall in love.
If you turned into like, a bear, tomorrow, would that instantly undo all your human instincts and give you the urge to go f*ck a bear?
7. 10 Things I Hate About You — "Allow me to serenade you in the least intimate way possible."
Everyone knows that it's never acceptable to karaoke sober. Yet, Heath Ledger decides nothing could be more romantic than singing a boring song through a stadium PA vaguely in the direction of his love interest.
Seriously, there were hundreds of people there; he could've been singing to anyone. Why do we assume it was the girl who eventually falls in love with him?
What does it say about a guy who's idea of romance involves rehearsing with the local marching band? I mean, he LITERALLY got hauled off by security guards at the end of this scene. What more proof do you need?
8. Pretty Woman — "I basically bought you, so now change everything about yourself for me."
Ahh, the classic story of boy meets girl, boy throws money at girl until she's a different girl, girl falls in love despite boy's disgust for the way she was when he met her.