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Shocker: very little cleaning is involved.
By Nicole Weaver — Written on Jun 16, 2021
There are some strange businesses out there, but there's nothing like turning to expensive cities for the most interesting ones. The latest trend is Topless Maids (definitely high on the list of sexual fantasies for many), which have vans popping up all over.
What is a Topless Maids Service?
One quick Google search will likely lead you to various topless maid services in your local area — but cleaning services aren't the only things they offer.
Nicole Aimee Schreiber of Thrillist decided to call a topless maid service and find out if they're for real. Schreiber made an appointment online for two hours (which is the minimum amount of hours you can book) of service for $170. She then got a topless Ukrainian maid.
"Nikki showed up in T-shirt and jeans with a bag of 'stuff.' She asked for a bathroom to change in and within minutes she emerged in her Topless Maids uniform: bare boobs, black and pink panties, a tiny maid apron with a company logo on it, a garter belt, fishnet tights, and black platform ankle boots," writes Schreiber.
Perfect for cleaning right? Well, these maids don't actually do the "dirty work." Another worker comes in to do light chores and dust. The cleaners could do more, but it would be an extra charge.
What do Topless Maids Do?
Topless maid services offer many things, but each company is different.
"She turned on some tunes, grabbed a hand Swiffer, and started to dance. Before we knew it we were grinding and dusting our way to one of the most Instagram-worthy nights of our lives. She taught us how to dust and dance at the same time (so much harder than it sounds!), and how to give lap dances and twerk properly (yes, there is a proper way to maximize a** popping)."
Those outfits seem pretty legit, because what kind of maid doesn't have a uniform? Even if it's completely missing the top half. You're probably better off getting an actual cleaning service to get the job done.
But if you're looking for some fun, this is the way to go.
Why Hire A Topless Maid
You get a show and a clean house.
Not only do you not have to clean your house, but you get entertainment as well.
You can relax and just watch as your house becomes spotless, thanks to your almost nude professional maid.
You can make your friends jealous.
Who wouldn't be jealous of you having a nude service clean your house?
But to regularly have a topless maid in your house could definitely make you the envy of your friends!
You can treat your partner.
That's right! Some couples actually use the service to reignite the "spark" in their relationship. Many companies actually offer deals and specials for Valentine's Day or anniversaries.
Of, course this isn't something you should surprise them with, but something you should absolutely talk with them about.
Why Not Hire A Topless Maid
Your partner may not approve.
Whether you're married or just dating, your partner may not be down for a topless maid service. If they found out you've had it done they may become angered or insecure in the relationship.
Definitely talk with your significant other to see if they would be alright with it before you book.
You have kids.
Do not get this if you have kids in the house. It's just not appropriate. But if you do, you need to make sure the children are removed from the house during your nude maid appointment.
This can but a restriction on scheduling and dampers the convenience of a cleaning service.
You may be the talk of the town.
Not every cleaning service is discreet, so your neighbors may very well know what's going on next door. And as humans love drama, you may find yourself in the neighborhood gossip.
This opens you up to assumptions people may make about you before even getting to know you.
What To Consider When Hiring A Topless Maid Service
1. Costs.
Cost is something everyone should consider when hiring any type of cleaning service, topless or not. These nude cleaning services may be much more than regular cleaning services. Many companies charge by the hour and may have a two-hour minimum.
Some may have package deals or a flat rate. One other thing when it comes to cost is to consider tips.
Make sure you understand exactly what you are paying for too. Do they bring the cleaning supplies? No question is dumb, so bring up anything you want to ask about during your booking.
2. Level of nudity.
If you are hiring a flirty nude/topless maid then nudity is probably important to you. Find out what levels of nudity are offered by the company.
There are some services that market themselves as "nude" maids but only offer maids dressed in lingerie. So if actual nudity is what you want, do some digging (even on craigslist) to find one in your area.
Just remember, the more skin they show the more money you'll spend.
3. Policies/agreements.
Usually, nude services come with strict policies and agreements and most come with legally binding contracts. Be sure to look through them and carefully read every sentence to understand what is and isn't acceptable.
If you feel like this is necessary to get your home cleaned, then sign away. Remember these women put business before pleasure and aren't there to have sex or get you off — they are there to make their living and clean your home.
4. Cancelations.
Life happens and things come up. A topless cleaning service is just like any other event you would pay for.
Look into what their cancellation policy is like or if they even have one. Do you get a full refund? Do they keep everything? do they do partial refunds?
5. Discreteness
As you read above, some services aren't as discrete as others. If you want your nude maid service on the DL, then this is a big point to consider.
Nicole Weaver is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment as well as relationship topics.
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This article was originally published June 15, 2015 and updated with the latest information.