And the award goes to...
Warning: I will say the word "dick" a lot. I'm not proud of it.
Everyone has dealt with a dick in his or her life. And now, thanks to the Internet, we don't have to actually confront that person/dick anymore. Pretty typical for our Internet age, isn't it?
Did your coworker eat your lunch from the office fridge again? Did your neighbor leave his dog's poop on your lawn? Clean off your shoes before you track poop on the floor, then stomp over to your computer, and feverishly surf to You Dick to send a penis trophy that screams all the curses you wish to shout.
This helpful and quirky UK web company sells dick-shaped trophies to help you get your point across. No messy arguments or confrontations here.
They're metal and come in black, bronze, silver and gold. The sizes come in small for $9.49, medium for $12.66, large for $14.24 and jumbo for $23.74, allowing you to gauge how much of a dick this person really is.
1. The "small" dick trophy.
2. The "medium" sized dick trophy, which also comes in gold.
3. And, of course, the "jumbo" sized dick trophy, for that person who's an extra big d*ck.
All photos: You Dick
Then, gladly — and anonymously — award the person with the trophy he or she undoubtedly deserves. Gold for first place dick, silver for second, bronze for third, and black for... well, they didn't place, but they're still a dick.
Along with the trophy, you can write your own anonymous "Congratulations! You're a dick!" note to send with the phallus-shaped award. If you're too flustered for words, You Dick can send a note on your behalf letting the person know their dickish achievements deserve recognition and praise.
With a 100 percent anonymity guarantee, free worldwide shipping, and affordable prices, You Dick really wants to help you tell that dick you know just how you really feel.
It's time to start that Dick List of my own. I have a few people in mind already. And since I've already said the amount of "dicks" I say in a year, it's time to cool it for a while.