13 Reasons Sex Toys Are INFINITELY Better Than Men

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sex toys are better than men
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Seriously, they are.

Sex toys are polarizing but in an imaginary way. People don't talk about them much and when they do, they're in denial about their appeal. (Alternatively, there are also people who talk about them almost too much, like those pals who trick you into going to sex toy parties to buy stuff, despite you liking to keep your private life private.)

Many of us know what it’s like to be in a relationship with a man who couldn’t give a crap about pleasing you — sexually or emotionally. He’s self-centered and is basically only in it for himself. What’s appealing about that for you? Not much. 

If you’re in a relationship with someone who puts in little to no effort to satisfy you, you’re going to be left feeling a little frustrated.

Thankfully, there’s something out there called a sex toy that makes you the master of your own sexuality so you don’t have to deal with the disappointment you get from men. Even if you have a man who treats you with respect, men are just a lot of work, which is why sex toys are better than men. Women definitely get a bad rap for being needy sometimes, but let's be honest here: guys can be just as attention sucking.

You know what doesn’t make you spend the weekend in the suburbs with its mother, or make you clean up after it on a consistent basis (because apparently, it doesn’t know how to be organized)? A sex toy. It’s the best way to declare your independence while still getting some on the side, if you know what I mean.

And sure, guys may complain that it costs a lot of money to have a girlfriend, but there’s definitely another side to that argument. When you have a new man it requires some reinforcements. I’m talking new clothes to switch things up a bit, shopping trips to Sephora, and not to mention the blood, sweat, and tears required to wax and shave regularly. It ain't cheap to look that fabulous.

But let's be honest with ourselves and each other: Vibrators and sex toys are a thing, they've been a thing, and they'll continue being a thing until we invent an Adonis for every woman and an Aphrodite for every man.

And frankly, they make being single AND taken more fun. Sometimes they even trump actual dudes. Here's how why sex toys are better than men.

1. A vibrator will never have morning breath.
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2. Sex toys don't care what you look like.
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3. You'll never have to worry about a sex toy leaving a souvenir behind.
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4. Sex toys don't need coaching to get the job done.
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5. Sex toys won't neglect you when a new Call Of Duty comes out.
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6. A vibrator doesn't come with stupid friends.
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7. As long as you're diligent with battery charges, a vibrator will never finish early.
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8. Sex toys aren't scared of commitment... and they won't pressure you into it, either.
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9. Barring some really weird circumstances, sex toys will never get you pregnant.
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10. Vibrators don't get jealous when you get curious about others.
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11. They do this when you want them to.
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12. A vibrator can be whoever you want, and you will never feel guilty about it.
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13. Uh, hello? They feel good!
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