How's that attitude working out for you?
Here's the deal. We all have moments where we feel so weighed down by stress (and life in general) that it's hard to stay positive. In those moments, you can’t help but give in to your negative feelings and think the worst about what’s going on around you.
A little bit of this is OK, but if this behavior becomes a pattern it can be truly upsetting to your marriage. Let’s take a look at how...
First, you start seeing your partner differently. You unknowingly interpret everything he or she says in a negative way. Instead of talking things through, you're on the defense looking for the slightest sign that something is wrong.
Emotionally you may find yourself exploding at the smallest things. Little things that were once annoying become big issues the second you sense that something might be going wrong.
Is this really a sign that your marriage is in trouble? Not likely.
Chances are, you’re letting your habit of seeing things negatively affect your marriage. There's no question that being married isn't always easy. After all, you can only fight about the same thing so many times before it starts getting to you.
If questions like these have become a routine in your marriage, something might be amok:
- "Is it really that hard for him to pick up his dirty socks?"
- "Why can't he remember when it's his turn to make dinner/pick up the kids/stop by the pharmacy?"
- “Why can’t he remember that I like to be kissed before sex?”
Trust us, we've been there. But even though it feels like everything your spouse does drives you to the bring, does it really mean the relationship is over? Chances are, it does not.
To help shed some light on this, authors John Gray and Charles J. Orlando along with Relationship Help Doctor Rhoberta Shaler, Shannon Rios Paulsen LMFT, and Jennifer Maddox LCSW stress the importance of putting your situation into perspective BEFORE you reach the brink of a big fight.
And while this may seem like a little thing. Science says otherwise, in fact, a habit of being overly focused on the negative in your partner can get worse over time. According to Live Science, "couples view one another as even more irritating and demanding the longer they are together."
After surveying 800 participants over the course of thirteen years, the study found that these negative feelings came from, "accumulated contact with a spouse, such that the nitpicking or frequent demands that once triggered just a mild chafe develops into a major pain."
So we ask you: Do you think your marriage is worth saving?
If the answer is yes, do something about it! It goes without saying that all marriages take work. But amount of effort you put into your relationships makes all of the difference.
Do yourself a favor, instead of actively questioning everything your relationship once stood for, take a step back and watch this video.
Think things through before your marriage takes a drastic turn for the worse. If you wait until it's too late, you may end up regretting that decision for the rest of your life.