20 WTF Facts About Masturbation We Bet You Never Knew

Sex, Self

Everybody does it! But not everybody knows the (frankly amazing) facts about it.

It really is true that you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself first ... and YES, that does apply to your special alone time. But are you a “downstairs-DJ-party” master? Or simply a no-frills, all-orgasms gal when it comes to revving your engine? Bone up (pun intended) on the facts below and then reward yourself! Knowledge is sexy.

1. Bill Clinton was pressured by Republicans to fire Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders over her statements supporting masturbation for sexual health (she famously said masturbation could help with the AIDS crisis). Now we celebrate National Masturbation Month in her honor! What a legacy, Mrs. Elders.

2. Masturbation is proven to help you management stress more efficiently, strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, fills your bloodstream with endorphins and is an official form of cardiovascular exercise. Whatever works for your cardio, ladies!

3. In Connecticut in the 17th century, masturbators could be put to death for their actions. Way to be a downer, Connecticut.

4. Forget the z-packs: Masturbating to orgasm strengthens your immune system!

5. Those who masturbate regularly consistently report having stronger marriages… AND better lives!

6. Did you know Mark Twain gave a lecture in 1874 solely on the topic of masturbation? We bet you didn’t learn that in 9th grade English class.

7. Getting on the subway everyday for your daily commute is scientifically proven to be more risky for your health than masturbating.

8. There was once an app you could download that taught women how to masturbate. It was called “Happy Playtime” and featured a cartoon vulva. Unfortunately, it was taken down by Apple.

9. While 99% of men could orgasm by the end of this sentence, only 46% of women can orgasm from masturbation within three minutes.

10. Most women report masturbating at least once a week. Stigma, be gone!

11. When researchers from Arizona university polled a group of 20 women about their self-love habits, none of them said they treating masturbation as a romantic occasion. One even compared it to brushing her teeth!

12. Female masturbation is an ancient and serious practice. The oldest depiction of a woman masturbating is a clay figurine from Malta, dating back to the 4th millenium BC. Get it, Malta women!

13. Orgasms are a natural painkiller, because of the endorphins that get released into your bloodstream. Think about that the next time you pop three Midol at once.

14. Masturbation can ALSO help you build up a resistance to yeast infections!

15. The vibrator, our fav partner-in-crime, was invented by a doctor to cure hysteria. Hysteria was basically the Victorian’s way of putting women in institutions for being “over-dramatic.” Side-eyeing you, Victorians…

16. More vibrator facts: in Japan it’s actually illegal to make sex toys that resemble a penis. Thus … the rabbit vibe was born.

17. Men can actually orgasm BEFORE they physically ejaculate.

18. Listen up fellas: masturbation can help strengthen your muscle tone and keep you from becoming incontinent … which will become very important down the road, to be quite honest.

19. Forget everything you know about traditional masturbation … you can have a “coregasm” from your daily workout. BRB, doing some crunches….

20. If you don’t masturbate, you are NOT frigid. You’re not damaged and you can still love, love, LOVE sex. Our policy: do whatever you want! Just enjoy yourself while you’re doing it (or not doing it).


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