10 Things To Put On Your Marriage Bucket List (And 5 To Skip)

Love, Heartbreak

Get going, people - you only have one life!

People have been making bucket lists for years, but even more so since that horrible movie of the same name came out a few years ago. Now, thanks to Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, people everywhere are setting goals of what they should accomplish before they die. Seem morbid? Of course. But everybody's doing it, so grab your pen and get to doing.

Most people make a personal life bucket list, but they forget about making a marriage one as well. Well, not to fear because we've created a separate list for you and your sweetie so you two can enjoy the afterlife together. Enjoy!

1. Go to therapy.
Nothing feels as good as complaining to your husband about something annoying he does while having a neutral party there to minimize the backlash. Note: it needs to be a therapist. Confronting him in the presence of a friend apparently makes the friend "extremely uncomfortable."

2. Let the neighbors hear you do it.
Although it might make your next neighborly wave a bit awkward, you can high-five each other knowing that they know you can rock the kasbah.

3. Lock yourselves up.
Not with handcuffs, although if that's your thing, by all means. I'm talking about locking yourselves inside for a few days with only each other for entertainment. And Netflix. You can have Netflix. Oh, and wine. 

4. Have secret signals.
If you truly want to be connected to your spouse, you need to know when he/she is ready to leave a painful dinner party/conversation/office cocktail hour. Creating a few simple "signals" (like three tugs on the ear when you're ready to leave) is the difference between boredom with a side of bouillon or fun in the fast food lane.

5. Take separate vacations.
This may seem counterintuitive but sometimes you both need time to decompress and think about how much you love each other from 1,000 miles away. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

6. Do something dangerous together.
From sky-diving to going through a Taco Bell drive-thru in the inner city at 2am, there's nothing sexier than trying something dangerous together. It'll bring you closer (or at least it always does in all of those reality dating TV shows.)

7. Renew your vows.
It's a great reason for a party and an even better way to entice other people to buy you anniversary gifts.

8. Play on a recreational sports team together.
It's great way to passive-aggressively get out your frustrations by "accidentally" knocking your spouse over in a botched play. Plus, you get a free T-shirt.

9. Put makeup on each other.
He gets to see how much work goes into making your face so beautiful and you get to see what he looks like with a cat-eye. Win/win.

10. Pretend you're in junior high.
Tee-pee your friend's house. Make a few prank calls. Get into some trivial trouble with a capital T. And then don't ground yourselves.

Aaaaaand here's the things you should skip:

1. Have a threesome.
That's so 2000s. Plus, it's never a good idea to give your guy permission to check out another woman's boobs.

2. Take a cross-country road trip.
Between bodily functions as a result of gas station cuisine and horrible music choices, he might just murder you...especially if you opt for the beef nachos. 

3. Buy a time share.
This is actually just good advice all-around.

4. Do a home improvement project together.
It's never like in the movies where you both look adorable throwing paint on each other while laughing hysterically. It's more like wanting to throw paint on each other while yelling hysterically because the other one doesn't know how to paint in the lines. Hire a contractor and save your marriage.

5. Succumb to peer pressure and run a marathon. 
It requires a lot of training, plus it's a LOT of together time, most of which is spent heavily breathing. Plus, it would be super-awkward when you smoke your spouse's time.

What are you waiting for? Get to it!


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