Do friends and family really know you best?
At some point, every woman will date someone of whom their friends and family won't approve. I'm not talking about friends just disliking your partner over something trivial, but a deep-rooted hatred because, well, maybe the person you're dating really is the worst thing in the world.
I had one of those, and everyone who loved me hated him. It just took me awhile to understand why, and when I did, I kicked myself for not seeing the light sooner.
I asked a few ladies for their thoughts on the matter. How does it feel when you're dating someone whom all your friends and family despise and think is toxic? Do you tell your friends and family to eff off? Proceed with caution? Or call it quits with the person in question?
1. Do what you want.
"I usually take the rebellious road and continue at an even faster pace into the arms of disaster and self-destruction. And then regret. Which is basically why I gave up dating entirely." —Sarah, 37
2. Heed the advice of those who know you best.
"No, done, over immediately. But then, my parents like just about everyone, so if they disliked someone it would be because they had actively seen him axe murdering people," —Jennifer, 27
"Not a good idea to be with someone all your friends and family despise. It's kind of like in the Portrait of a Lady..." —Mieko, 38
3. Proceed with caution and trust your gut.
"The people I surround myself with are very good judges of character, but I will not discount my own experiences with the person. People I knew talked sh*t about [my husband] when I first got involved with him and I took the time to find out if it was true or not. Sometimes it's your friends that are toxic." —Colleen, 30
"There are certain people whose opinions I hold higher than others, but generally speaking, I'm a pretty good judge of character and go with my gut. Not going to lie, though, my instinct is to NOT listen to my parents when it comes to people, since we just value really different things. There are times I should've listened, but I'm STUBBORN." —Becky, 30
"I'm cautious about the people I surround myself with to begin with. So I haven't really gotten the talk about how my love interest is toxic. I don't listen to gossip and go with my own gut check. But being an unfortunate member of the once bitten, twice shy club, I do take note of murmurings and I'm sure to explore what's being said with someone I trust, as well as with the person I'm seeing." —Jen, 35
4. It really depends on the situation.
"If they have real reasons, like, he's verbally abusive to you, then I would hear them out. If it's more because he's a different type of person than they're used to seeing you with, or because you're changing and what you're attracted to is changing, and they're being resistant to that, then ... sorry! Gotta do what's best for you, and only you know what's best for you in the end. Plus, sometimes, your friends and family can be the most judgmental people you know, and not always in the good way!" —Sabrina, 28