Because, when all else fails, we'll make you laugh.
A sense of humor has long been heralded as a desirable trait in men when it comes to dating, often sitting at the top of the characteristics women want in a partner. Men, on the other hand, generally don't say things about prospective girlfriends, like, "She could be short, fat, and bald. I don't really care, as long as she has a sense of humor." But there are plenty of reasons men should be looking for funny women to pair up with. Here are 10 reasons I recommend everyone date a funny lady like me:
1. Because we're funny.
I mean, obviously. Funny people know how to say the right thing at the right time—or the wrong thing at the wrong time, in the best way. We can get a laugh in the worst moments and make stressful situations fun. I own the dance floor at weddings and can make people snort at funerals. Cocaine, in the bathroom, after the service: it's a real pick-me-up when a loved one has died.
2. Funny ladies are deep thinkers.
No matter how silly the joke, underneath it lies a very serious mind. The funniest women are incredibly keen observers who are great at analyzing what's going on around them. So your conversations with a funny woman will not only be hilarious but also enlightening. At least about the basics, like bodily functions and food. I don't mean we'd talk about bodily functions and food at the same time. Actually, yeah, probably.
3. We can relate to your anxieties and insecurities.
If you ever want to feel better about yourself, listen to a funny woman talk about how badly she feels about herself. Not only will you feel better, she'll feel better, too, because if there's one thing funny women love to do, it's talk. That's why mimes aren't considered comics. Because they're silent. And because there's nothing funny about being trapped in an invisible box. It's horrible, in fact. I mean, WE'RE ALL IN CAGES YEARNING TO BREAK FREE, AMIRIGHT?
4. All of my friends are funny and/or smart, too!
You'll never get bored hanging out with funny girls who have endless stories to tell. Also a bonus if you like to hang out in bars and clubs that serve the kind of food that inspires jokes about bodily functions (see #2).
5. Funny people don't embarrass easily.
I'm a comedian in real life, which means I have talked into a microphone loudly and proudly about the kinds of things most people whisper about, and I take life's awkward moments in stride. Like the time I fell into the gap between the subway train and the platform and almost lost my leg but got saved by a stranger who pulled me up by my nipple. Or the time I flirted with the doctor before he gave me a colonoscopy. (He flirted with me after, too. What does that say about how beautiful I am on the inside, huh?).
6. I live for the story.
If a sense of adventure is what excites you, then step right up! Comedians can always tell when some interesting shit is about to go down and know how to follow the action. That's not just because we love telling stories, we also love living a story! It's an exhilarating feeling to know you're really alive and in the moment, even if that means you find yourself in a club in Scotland filled with loud, toothless, aging gay men wearing assless chaps, fighting to shut them up while you throw yourself into a split and start freestyle rapping. Hey, I won them over in the end!
8. Comedians know how to party.
It's no secret that comedians are legendary partiers. But it's not just because some of us are terrible drunks. It's because we love to have fun and make fun for other people. And because some of us are also terrible drug addicts.
9. We like movies about dumb sh*t.
Afraid a girly girl won't want to watch frat humor with you? Don't worry. We love to laugh at broad comedy as much as we love to cry at movies for broads. Fortunately, Bridesmaids and The Heat fall into both categories, and I'm pretty sure you'd love those flicks, too.
10. We won't suffocate you by wanting to hang out with you every single night.
Dating a person with their own life and interests is key to maintaining a healthy relationship (and your own life and interests!). Of course I'd love for you to come to my comedy shows, but you don't have to be there every single time. Thankfully I've got an adoring audience of strangers who also need my love and care.
But, to answer your question, and to let you know what the one con of dating a funny lady is:
Yes, you will end up in my act.
That's also the downside of dating any comedian. As long as you're not a jerk, you've got nothing to worry about! NO PRESSURE. (If your funny girl isn't a comedian, replace "act" with "conversations with her BFFs where she does act-outs of your annoying habits." But don't worry, baby - you're perfect.)
7. We love surprises!
You thought I forgot number seven, didn't you? Well, I did. But through the magic of improvisation and the rule that there are no mistakes, here we are. Imagine how fun I would be popping up behind you on a date, going, "DID YOU FORGET ME?! HERE I AM! LUCKY NUMBER 7! WOO!"
In closing, funny women may be just like regular women with slightly more body hair, but we are also really grateful for free entertainment. So don't skip over the next funny woman's profile you come across while you're online dating looking for Mrs. Right. Most of us distrust the notion of marriage because we come from broken homes, so we'll save you lots of money on diamonds. Call me!
Just kidding, you don't have my number. OR DO YOU? IT'S IN YOUR POCKET.