Watch Adam Levine Piss Off PETA & All Feminists In His New Video

Adam Levine with meat in the Maroon 5 "Animals" video

Uh, why did Behati Prinsloo agree to do this?

In the new Maroon 5 video "Animals," Adam Levine, rocking some serial killer glasses, is a bigger sketchball than he normally is in real life — and he's seriously creeping on and dehumanizing his own wife, Behati Prinsloo. Is it just us or are lyrics like, "Baby, I'm preying on you tonight. Hunt you down, eat you alive", disturbing and maybe not the most romantic thing to be singing to your new spouse? Again and again, he reminds us (covered in blood, obvs) that he can have her like an animal even if she tried to hide. How creepy is that?

Ready for some animal blood, meat, nightmare fuel and an annoying earworm? Here goes the video for the most rapey song since "Blurred Lines," and our reaction below. You're not gonna wanna miss that:


0:01-0:08 Behati Prinsloo, Adam Levine's wife, walks into a butcher shop where Levine is apparently working.
Is this really necessary? Doesn't Adam Levine have money from The Voice and his K-Mart stuff? And why isn't there a door? This is so gross.

0:09-0:17 Behati Prinsloo speaks and holds up two fingers, but no sounds come out. Cameras flash. There's a nightclub scene and film. Then more meat.
She's used to doing this at work, isn't she? Why does she look so blank and baffled? Is she a vegan or something? 

0:18-0:40 There's lots of flesh imagery and then Behati Prinsloo finally gets her meat, as well as a marquee name in the credits.
Unfortunately, this may not be the ideal way for her to be known as anything other than "that other Victoria's Secret model" or "Adam Levine's wife."

0:40-0:51 Adam Levine stands around in the rain with a hoodie on, staring wistfully past the camera.
Ted Bundy vibes. He was a pretty charming guy.

0:52-1:00 Adam Levine follows Behati Prinsloo past a hot dog stand and squeals, "I can smell your scent for miles."
She either needs a shower or he's confusing her personal fragrance with sauerkraut. I've never stood next to her on the subway so I can't say whether or not that's an easy mistake to make. And more importantly, why did she agree to do this?

1:01-1:10 Adam Levine has a lot of pictures of Behati Prinsloo around. Like, a lot.
Why is he printing everything but hanging them with clothes pins? Get an external hard drive or some frames, bruh.

1:11-1:20 Adam Levine looks at more pictures of Behati Prinsloo, this time accompanied by footage of Levine in a meat room with a hook.
If only the song's hook were as catchy as the one in his hand, he may not have to resort to gross gimmicks.

1:21-1:42 Behati Prinsloo smokes a cigarette in her underwear and looks out of her rain-soaked window. Adam Levine lurks below, because Adam Levine is a super creep.
Also, there's more meat. But no bacon. Why no bacon?

1:42-2:00 Adam Levine hangs with some meat and Behati Prinsloo continues posing provocatively in little clothing.
Adam Levine continues being a creep. I'm getting hungry. Again, why did she agree to do this?

2:01-2:04 Behati Prinsloo goes to bed.
Sleep with one eye open, girl. Not only is your HUSBAND Adam Levine stalking you, he may also dump you by text like he did to Jessica Simpson, even though you're married. Class knows no bounds. Someone remind us why he's dehumanizing his wife again?

2:04-2:11 Adam Levine is rubbing animal blood on his skin while wearing rubber gloves, which defeats the purpose of wearing rubber gloves.

2:12-2:20 Adam Levine is taking pictures of Behati Prinsloo while she's asleep. He didn't draw dicks on her first, which is sort of a waste opportunity.

2:20-2:42 Behati Prinsloo and her pal go into a nightclub and are pals with the bouncer because of course they are. Adam Levine follows and the bouncer lets him in.
This bouncer isn't doing his job. He also didn't check anyone's IDs. If the NSA is reading this, flag this jackass.

2:43-2:50 Adam Levine has a band now. Behati Prinsloo toasts with champagne.

2:51-3:04 Adam Levine greets Behati Prinsloo at the club. Then Maroon 5 plays some more while Levine plays with meat. Behati Prinsloo rebuffs him.
This will end well. Remember that "Human Meat" episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Or Sweeney Todd? Is that what's going to happen here? Also, of course she rejected him. If Adam Levine were broke, do you really think he'd be getting all that otherwise-self-respecting model tail? This is a guy who bragged about taking women to McDonald's for a first date, okay? Remember this.

3:05-3:24 Adam Levine continues creeping on Behati Prinsloo and almost touches her shoulder. She shuts him down. He looks sad. Also, he plays with meat and with his band.
I love steak. I love steak a lot. And now I am really sick of meat. Maybe if this were on mute it'd be better. Or if Levine added some A-1 or something.

3:25-3:41 Adam Levine is having sex with Behati Prinsloo. Probably just in his mind, but he's totally doing it.
This has ended really well for previous girlfriends who've co-starred in his videos.

3:42-3:55 Adam Levine howls. He and Behati Prinsloo are covered in fake blood.
Somewhere, Stephen King rolls his eyes and waits for royalties. Somewhere else, a dog humps a pillow.

3:56-4:11 Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo keep embracing naked and covered in blood. Levine laughs maniacally in his meat room.
What does PETA have to say about this (provided they're not too busy freezing and killing puppies and kittens to see the video)? And does Adam Levine really think he can out-psycho Christian Bale? So many questions.

4:12-4:26 Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo are still bloody.
They remind me of barbecue ribs from my favorite Chinese restaurant. The kind that make you need to floss twice after eating.

4:27-4:30 Adam Levine wakes up. Maybe it was just a dream.
I'm not Freud or anything, but he may want to call his mom or something.

4:31-4:38 Or maybe it wasn't, because he's still outside in the rain like a creep.
I hate vegetables, but now I want salad. And a shower. And my mom. And a restraining order against Adam Levine.



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