35 Of The Most Heartbreaking (And Hilarious) Friendzones On Film

Photo: IMDB

Ooh, burn.

"Friendzone" - a hellish pit of loneliness one finds himself (or herself) when the object of his/her affections says they'd like to be friends, forever, and nothing more. For example, there's poor Duckie in Pretty in Pink or Jorah (Khaleesi's minion) on Game of Thrones. These lovestruck fools found themselves fools of the friendzone. And yes, it felt like a fate worse than death.

On this list, the victims can NOT have escaped the friendzone. That means Ross Gellar and Steve Urkel don't count — they FINALLY got the girl! On this list of sad-sacks, nobody was so lucky. Just like in real life, these characters who got friendzoned were forced to stay there forever. 

So here are some of the worst friendzone victims of all time. These poor characters are quite possibly the very best friends in film and TV history — those pitifully lovelorn characters who just couldn't escape the dreadful words, "Let's just be friends."

1. Forrest Gump

"I don't know about a lot of things, Jenny, but I know about the friendzone." In Robert Zemeckis's 1994 film, Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks's character has a love for Jenny (Robin Wright) that spans a lifetime. And, his mama (Sally Field) should've said, "Life might be like a box of chocolates, but that Jenny, she is like a box of friendzones."

2. Jorah Mormont

On Game of Thrones, Jorah Mormont is the right-hand man of Daenerys Targaryen, Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons, in all matters but love. He'll never get close to the Iron Throne, just the Iron Friendzone. Winter has come!

3. Quasimodo

Poor, poor Quasimodo. Not only is he an orphan with an awful adopted father who lives in a lonely bell tower and is unanimously hated by all of Paris for no reason, he risks his life for beautiful Esmerelda only to be friendzoned in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's enough to make you gargoyle yourself. 

4. Professor Severus Snape

In the Harry Potter franchise, Professor Snape spent his entire life in love with Harry's mom, only to have her end up marrying his worst enemy. And even after she died, Snape was still so devoted that he dedicated his life to protecting her son. That Lily Potter can cast one helluva a friendzone spell!

5. Tinker Bell

In Peter Pan, Tinker Bell doesn't take kindly to Wendy moving in on her boy-man. Pixie dust won't get you out of the friendzone, fairy girl!

6. Jack Sparrow

In Pirates of the Caribbean, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is forced by Elizabeth Swann (Kiera Knightly) to walk the plank into the snark-infested waters of the friendzone.

7. Milhouse Van Houten

On the long-running series, The Simpsons, poor Milhouse has endured 20+ years of Lisa Simpson's friendzone. It's her hot hairdo and pearls, isn't it?

8. Gunther

Sure, on Friends, we all think Ross Gellar is king of the friendzone. And he was, but he ultimately got out – making him ineligible! Therefore, we crown Gunther in his stead, the longing barista who could never get Rachel Green. 

9. Jacob Black

Remember when Twilight fangirls were choosing Team Edward or Team Jacob? Well, once Bella went vampire and had a vamp-baby, the wolf-in-wuss's clothing was eternally relegated to the friendzone. At least he has those abs to love.

10. Charlie Brown

"Why's everybody always picking on me?" It's because you're in the friendzone, Charlie Brown. 

11. Edward Scissorhands

In Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands, our lead (Johnny Depp) would do anything for the love of Kim (Winona Ryder). But seriously, can you blame a girl for friendzoning a guy with sharp daggers as fingers? Third base would certainly kill you.

12. King Kong

King Kong would do anything for beautiful, tiny Ann Dorrow – including, sacrificing his own life. Unfortunately for this giant primate, Ann doesn't do monkeys. 

13. William Miller

In Cameron Crowe's film, Almost Famous, young William Miller falls for the troubled band groupie Penny Lane. But she's too busy popping pills and falling for abusive musicians, so she sends him down Friendzone Lane. 

14. Lloyd Christmas

In the 1994 film, Dumb & Dumber, Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) falls head over heels – and off a jetway – for Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly). He coerces his buddy, Harry (Jeff Daniels), onto a journey all the way to Aspen (where women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano), only to be frozen into a painful friendzone. He didn't even see it coming!

15. Julianne Potter

In the film My Best Friend's Wedding, Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts) realizes she's in love with her best friend (Dermot Mulroney) only as he announces he's betrothed to another (Cameron Diaz). At least she has her gay BFF (Rupert Everett) to dance with when she's friendzoned. Julianne Potter, we say a little prayer for you. Forever. And ever...

16. Toby Flenderson

On The Office, Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) finally broke out of Pam Beasley's (Jenna Fisher) friendzone, but the sadsack HR schlub Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstein) never got so lucky. File this one under 'FRIENDZONE.'

17. Duckie Dale

Probably one of the most iconic friendzone instances of all time, Duckie Dale (Jon Cryer) gets the ultimate "let's be friends" by Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald) in John Hughes's classic, Pretty In Pink. 

18. Scarlett O'Hara

In Gone with the Wind, Scarlett O'Hara is devastated when Ashley Wilkes announces he's marrying someone else... HIS COUSIN. Frankly, my dear, if homeboy thinks incest's best, then Scarlett's the one who shouldn't give a damn. 

19. Tony Markovich

On Shameless, boy-next-door, hot cop Tony Markovich would love nothing more than to be Mr. Fiona Gallagher. But she likes bad boys – and sweet and stable Tony's only good enough for her friendzone. Has she no shame? (None of the Gallaghers do. That's the point.)

20. Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren

On Orange Is The New Black, Crazy Eyes quickly set her sights on her "Dandelion," Piper. Her wooing skills lacking, Crazy Eyes didn't take rejection well (she urinated on Piper's floor!). Needless to say, this strained relationship ultimately led to a more stable and amicable "friendzone" for Crazy Eyes.

21. Manny Delgado

On Modern Family, Manny Delgado is a mature ladies' man who hasn't even hit puberty yet. Therefore, he's friendzoned by his older crushes right and left.

22. Robbie & Jessica

In the 2011 film, Crazy Stupid Love, Robbie loves Jessica... Jessica loves his father... Both do NOT love the friendzone they find themselves in. 

23. Angela Hayes

In the 1999 film, American Beauty, Angela Hayes (Mena Suvari) is hot for Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) – mid-life crisis and all. Of course, he's tempted, but resists the seductress, tossing her naked, petal-covered body into the friendzone. Hey girl, every rose has its thorn.

24. Landry Clarke

On TV's beloved Friday Night Lights, Landry was lucky enough to hold Tyra's heart for a hot second. But as hotties Riggins and Cash caused her eyes to quickly wander away, he got left in the friendzone forever. Clear eyes, full heart, can't escape the friendzone.

25. Tom Haverford

On Parks and Recreation, Tom Haverford has been relegated to the friendzone right and left. From his "wife" in season one, to Leslie's best-galpal nurse, Ann Perkins, to Jean-Ralphio's unstable kid-sister, Mona-Lisa. Treat yo'self to the friendzone!

26. Mike Waters

In Gus Van Sant's film My Own Private Idaho, two best-friend hustlers, Mike (River Phoenix) and Scott (Keanu Reeves) embark on a journey of self-discovery. Mike discovers he's in love with Scott, who in turn, helps Mike discover the friendzone. No happy endings here!

27. Seymour Krelborn

In the film Little Shop of Horrors, suddenly Seymour finds himself in Audrey's friendzone. 

28. Carrie

In Brian de Palma's 1976 classic, Carrie, high school heartthrob Tommy Ross put Carrie in the friendzone... and well, we all know that turned into quite a messy situation. When you're in the friendzone, they're all gonna laugh at you.

29. Max Cherry

In the film Jackie Brown, our protagonist serves Max Cherry a steamy slice of friendzone pie. He's deserted and not getting any dessert.

30. The Men of True Blood

No man, vampire, shapeshifter, faerie, or werewolf is safe from Sookie. On the campy series True Blood, she burns through the dudes right and left, tossing her sloppy seconds into the friendzone.

31. Lady Edith Crawley

On Downton Abbey, Lady Edith (AKA – the Jan Brady of the Crawleys) can't seem to nail a husband down. Time after time, she's left weeping in the friendzone. If she inherits the estate, she'll probably rename it Downtrodden Abbey. 

32. Jan Brady

This unlucky and often unnoticed middle sister on "The Brady Bunch" never had a chance of getting out of the friendzone thanks to Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

33. Jett Rink

In the 1965 film, Giant, even a brooding James Dean can't compete with the steamy heterosexuality of Rock Hudson - and is friendzoned by Elizabeth Taylor. 

34. Norma Desmond

In the film Sunset Blvd., has-been movie star Norma Desmond plans her comeback and hires a young, down-on-his-luck screenwriter, Joe Gillis, to help. She quickly falls for him, showering him with money and gifts, and although he enjoys the situation of kept-boy for awhile, he breaks things off. But Norma doesn't like the friendzone one bit, and reacts, with deadly consequences. 
(Bonus: Max, Norma's butler, has been in her friendzoned for decades – and still won't leave her side!)

35. Peter Campbell

On Mad Men, Pete’s wife has left him, his mistress doesn’t even remember him because of electroshock therapy, and his most recent romantic encounter was bought and paid for. Poor Pete belongs in the friendzone no matter what decade we're in!


This article was originally published at Ranker. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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