Can we all agree the kissy face has got to go?
The word ‘selfie’ was coined in Australia in the olden days (2002). A drunk guy posted a blurry image of himself and posted it on social media for all to see. I’m sure there were many selfies before then, but they weren’t documented on the internet, and as we now know, that means they don’t count. Social media brings many pros and cons to this world we live in and we’re not quite sure what merit the selfe brings, but we’re thankful it made its mark! People of all shapes and sizes, in every corner of this earth, take and (most importantly) post these in-your-face-look-at-me pixilated gems!
Selfie was awarded ‘Word of the Year’ in 2013, and for that we can probably thank the (self proclaimed) selfie queen, Kim Kardashian. She’s posted thousands of the little suckers: in her bathing suit, getting her makeup done, on dream vacations, even with her little baby girl, North! She's even releasing a book of her selfies.
As social media explodes (and the world gets smaller and smaller) we are all (thankfully?) being updated on everyone’s lives. Your neighbor, your brother-in-law, the guy on the news, even your doctor takes selfies. Here's a break down of the different types of selfies and what kind of message they’re sending out into the online world. You’re welcome.
Warning: When taking a selfie, proceed with caution. Objects on Instagram can and will appear more filtered and awesome in your mind then they are in reality.
The "I'm On A Plane, NBD"-ie
1. The "I'm On A Plane, NBD"-ie
Oh, you travel by airplane? Cool. FYI: So does the rest of the world. We get it, you're SO excited about this trip that you won’t tell us about because you are trying to stay somewhat mysterious (vaguebook, much?) by just giving us a glimpse into your ultra-fabulous-airplane-traveling life. #bringmesomepeanuts
2. The "Belfie"
Who knew the "Belfie" even existed!
Pro tip: If you see a nice donkey booty, get on up next to it and snap a quick shot! Everybody likes some junk in the trunk. #welikebigbutts
3. The "Bromance"-ie
Rarely do you hear the words "adorable" and “selfie” in the same sentence, but alas the bromance-selfie hits it on the head. Guys can be super cute when they huddle in for a smile session! #weapprove
The "I'm In A Car"-ie
4. The "I'm In A Car"-ie
This selfie is taken in the car, on the way to some place where you had to shower and actually put on makeup. This photo is posted to tell us that you're either waiting on someone to hurry it up, or to notify the world that you in fact took a shower today. We're not sure. #sofreshandsoclean
The "Dog Lover"-ie
5. The "Dog Lover"-ie
We love every animal, the smaller the better. Bring on the cute! You could even just snap a pic of the animal alone, we're okay with that too. #welovepuppies
The "Kissy Face"-ie
6. The "Kissy Face"-ie
Also known as ‘duck face.’ Either way, can we stop this one, like forever? #gross
The "I'm In Love"-ie
7. The "I'm In Love"-ie
Be careful with this selfie, playing kissy face with your new crush can go from adorbs to GAG with one slip of the tongue. #keepitclassy
The "All Natural"-ie
8. The "All Natural"-ie
This is a new category of selfie. As we become more confident in our selfie taking skills we become an expert on lighting. Lighting can make everyone look good, even without makeup. (To those of you who just wake up like a Neutrogena ad, we half hate you and half love you, FYI.) #lovetheskinyourein
The "Shirtless Guy"-ie
9. The "Shirtless Guy"-ie
We love these. We can't wait to see another. If you work out, it's even better. #nicepecs
The "We're Having SO Much FUN"-ie
10. The "We're Having SO Much FUN"-ie
The selfie you take with all of your friends at that really cool party, you know, the one that everyone was talking about, but only some of you were invited to.
This picture can have two effects: People will either hate you or be very, very jealous. Either way, you gain some kind of weird power over the rest of us, so we urge you to use it sparingly. #canwesitwithyou
The "I'm A Vacationing Fool"-ie
11. The "I'm A Vacationing Fool"-ie
Oh, boy. We see that cool place you're visiting and we want to be there, too. It's a beach right? We can't tell by your feet in the sand, or your long tan legs on a beach chair.
Pro Tip: We'd rather see your face than your feet, any time of the day, any day of the week. #noonecaresaboutyourfeet
The "Weather Report"-ie
12. The "Weather Report-ie"
Just in case we somehow forgot how to check the weather on our smartphones, or worse, lost the remote to the TV to check the news, you have us covered! Show us that adorable coat that's half off, or the cute new cut-offs that we've been dreaming about. #fashionshow
The "I Woke Up Like This"-ie
13. The "I Woke Up Like This"-ie
Do we believe you woke up looking semi-decent wearing your cool nerd glasses? Maybe … but we are definitely skeptical. #imtryingtobelieveyou
The "I'm Hard At Work"-ie
14. The "I'm Hard At Work"-ie
This selfie usually doesn't include your face, but it does include your super cool, hipster work environment. Thanks for reminding us we work in a cube the size of a dog crate. #wewantyourjob
The "I Work Out"-ie
15. The "I Work Out"-ie
We get it. #noonecares