For the past few years now, I've had a sporadic conversation with a close friend (I’ll call her “Jenna”) about her admitted weakness for a certain type of guy.
The problem, in her own words, is that she falls for Prince Charmings who end up transforming into toads. Recently, we turned to the topic of “nice guys.” In particular, Jenna had met a guy who seemed like a total gentleman at first, but then managed to fire off several red flags by the end of the night….
They met at a party for their kids, and almost immediately, the guy started lamenting the death of chivalry in this world. He pointed out how men are so crude nowadays, and he proudly proclaimed that he would teach his son how to treat women right.
Later in the evening, the guy offered his jacket to Jenna when she looked chilly. She said she was fine, but he insisted on draping his jacket over her.
Still later, the guy asked Jenna if she wanted a fruit cup. She declined, but he got her one, anyway. And when Jenna’s daughter came up and ate all the strawberries from her cup, he went back, grabbed another cup, and even piled on extra strawberries from neighboring cups just for good measure.
Jenna could only mutter to herself, “I didn’t even want a fruit cup in the first place….”
Sufficiently weirded out by this point, Jenna spent the rest of the party dodging the guy’s glances, and she managed to escape with no further offerings of fruit or shelter from him.
When Jenna and I chatted a few days later, she voiced her bewilderment. On the surface, he was courteous and generous almost to a fault. So why were his actions such a turn-off? Why did every instinct in her gut tell her to walk away?
Read the rest over at The Frisky: GUY TALK: HOW TO SPOT AN ASSHOLE PRETENDING TO BE A NICE GUY