You might think the inside of a man's brain sounds like the buzz of a broken fluorescent lightbulb. Not true. In my humble view, the brain cells of men work like pistons, constantly firing — just like yours. Some of the internal dialogue they produce is quite sophisticated ("Why, I detect rosehip and cardamom in this rare Flemmish beer!"), while other times, they send us in pursuit of life's simpler pleasures ("boobs, boobs, boobs...").
Sex is one of the simpler moments. In the presence of a naked woman, a man's mind becomes pretty predictable. Here are 10 thoughts that have probably crossed your guy's mind at least once while doing the deed:
So, um, was that an orgasm? When men orgasm, you know it. It's a whole thing. To leave no doubt, we collapse as if we just ran a marathon. So you can understand our confusion when, after you orgasm, you just keep on going like you're the freakin' Duracell bunny. Should we keep going? Should we wrap it up? WHAT DO WE DO?!
Damn! I forgot to shower. Let me take this moment to apologize to every woman who's ever caught a whiff of musky body odor during sex. We planned to rinse off an hour ago, but we were probably too tired or lazy at the time, and then we got distracted by the prospect of sex. We're not proud of it.
My god, these are perfect! From a man's perspective, the best breasts in the world are those that have recently been exposed solely for his enjoyment. If you happen to possess those breasts, just know that we're thoroughly impressed.
I should really remember this for later. Sometimes you're not available when we're in the mood and we have to go it solo. For those moments, it pays to have fond memories of your naked body to guide us. (I'm talking masturbation, people.)
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