I previously wrote a list of "10 Things Not to Do in Front of Your Man," and it has been my most popular blog post to date, so why not let the fellas know exactly what we don't want to see them do, right?!
In actuality men have it pretty easy when it comes to so-called "bad behavior" because most of it is written off as just boys being boys, i.e. burping, farting, sex jokes, etc. ... and most of the times it may bother us, but we really want to seem like the cool girlfriend or wife that doesn't nag their man to stop doing whatever the hell it is that grosses us out. So, I'll say it for you … I don't care if your man hates me for it because there were some ladies that hated me for calling out our behavior on my previous list!
1. Commenting on our friends, sisters, cousins, or co-workers looks: This can either go horribly wrong or kind of right. For example, "Your mom is so beautiful you look just like her." And then there is, "Yeah ... your sister's boobs are bigger than yours, but all I need is a handful." (No this is not a made up example either, but I digress.) Look, it's not like we expect you to not look at, desire, or feel attracted to anyone else, but hearing how fine/hot/beautiful/pretty you think our best friend/sister/co-worker is, is not on our list of things we want to hear. Why? They are too close to home and too close to you. This is a scenario we see constantly played out in movies, television dramas, and the "Maury Show," so the last thing we want to equate with you is getting a phone call from Maury's producer. Thinking someone is beautiful does not mean you are going to cheat on us with them either, but would you want us telling you how sexy we think your brother is? Didn't think so.
2. Trying to solve all of our problems for us: Guys, we understand you are natural problem solvers, but sometimes we just want to vent about our co-worker Tanya. (Listen, I don't care how mature you are, we all have that one co-worker that just irks the hell out of us). For example, 'Tanya flirts with everyone and it pisses me off! I'm sure she's sleeping with our boss because she wouldn't have gotten that raise otherwise!" Pause right here. What are you supposed to say to that? Should you try and solve this dilemma for your woman? Are you supposed to agree that Tanya is a slut? Do you tell your girl she may be reacting a bit over-the-top? No to everything! Just listen and please don't try and come up with a plan of action, unless we ask. We have been dealing with Tanya for a long time now and know what we need to do, but we can't talk about her with anyone at work so we at times need to vent about it to you. Please put the whiteboard, markers, and note cards away — we got this.
3. Texting/DM/Instant Messaging pics of your wiener: Let's just be clear about this one OK, guys. The days of being fascinated by how your wiener looks ended when we started having sex. We know what it looks like and do not need to have it saved in our phone's memory, e-mail database or IM screen. There is nothing wrong with sexting and building up the anticipation of a night of amazing sex and a few naughty texts are always great, but the constant influx of pics of you standing in the bathroom mirror naked with the toilet behind you in the background is starting to get old. If you must, one is enough — trust me. I always say that if a man really wants to turn me on he should text the following: When I get home I am going to pick you up, throw you on the bed, grab the ... vacuum and clean the carpet. If you did this, I'd be home, naked, and waiting.
Read the rest over at Uptown Magazine: 10 Things Not To Do In Front Of Your Woman
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