Bad sex comes in many forms. You can have it with a person you've just met, someone you've been holding out for, or even with someone you've been dating for a while. Sometimes bad sex happens when you least expect it, like following an amazing makeout sesh (buzzkill).
Instead of counting the orgasms that could have been, we've asked readers to share their not-so-satisfying bedroom tales, along with a lesson they've taken away from each.
Lesson One: Don't Force It:
April was out with friends at a beach bar when she met a guy that she clicked with right away. "He was tan and cute, and had a little chest stubble, which I'm really into," she said. "Long story short, I hadn't slept with anyone in ages, and I decided that this guy would do." The two went back to his summerhouse and went at it ... sort of. "He couldn't get it up … like at all," April said. "I tried everything, and even after going down on him for a while with no results, I wasn't ready to forfeit yet." Since it's only fair, April encouraged her beach boy to go down on her, since nothing else seemed to be working, and she didn’t want to call the whole night a wash (especially after ditching her girls for Mr. No-Go). "Finally, I began to actually enjoy myself," she said. "He was really good, and I was just getting into it when he suddenly stopped," she continued. "Beyond aggravated at this point, I sat up to ask what was wrong, and boy did I find out." April looked down to find Beach Boy's face covered in blood. "I freaked!" she said. "All I could do was ask if I got my period, when he told me that he got a bloody nose! I must have gotten so into it that I accidentally head butted him with my pelvic bone." After blood was drawn, the two decided to finally call it quits and April took a cab back to where her friends were staying.
Lesson Two: Your Favorite Search Engine Does Not Qualify As A Stand-In Gyno:
We've all had one … they make you look awkward in public, take sex of the menu and make life in general a whole lot uglier. No — we're not referring to your old scrunchie collection, we're talking about a yeast infection.
A couple of years ago, Lisa was newly dating a guy that she found herself really into, really quickly. "Things escalated between us almost instantly,” she said. "So while he had already made himself my boyfriend, we still had a lot of uncharted territory to cover, especially in the bedroom." The two had been sleeping together for a couple of weeks when Lisa came down with a yeast infection. "I'm no stranger to them, so I just made some excuses and became more generous in the blow job department to keep me in the clear for a couple of days, while I was taking Monistat," she said. With the reassurance of a Google search, "When can you have sex again after using Monistat?" she decided that it was time to give it a go, just 24 hours after treatment. "I was tired of waiting, so we went up to his room in the middle of the day and did the deed," she said. "Needless to say, you could see everything." As the couple recovered from their romp, Lisa looked over to see her boyfriend looking questionably at his … er, junk. When she looked down to uncover the object of his horrified expression, she saw the remains of her medication all over his man parts. "It was the most embarrassing experience of my life!" she exclaimed. "First of all, he didn't even know I had a yeast infection to begin with, so I had to start the story there, which is horrifying enough in itself to divulge to someone you just began sleeping with," she said "And then I had to explain that my meds were all over him!" Luckily, he took it well, and laughed, relieved that there wasn't something else going on. "He was a good sport," Lisa said, but he did say that he'd never look at cream cheese the same way again." Keep Reading ...
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