How Awkward Sex Moments Can Bring You Closer Together As A Couple

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How Awkward Sex Moments Can Bring You Closer Together As A Couple
Sex can be messy. Your love life doesn't have to be.

Think about every love scene you've ever seen on film or read about in a book. The couples are almost always beautiful and seem to be perfectly matched sexually. They automatically know how to send each other into such physical ecstasy that comparisons to fireworks seem tame. Everything just seems to fit naturally and stay that way no matter how energetic the endeavor. There is never a hair out of place, no smudged makeup, and, unless it's a comedy, no bad smells.

If you have ever actually had a sexual encounter, you might think something is truly wrong with you if you compare your reality to these fantasy moments. My bed, for example, isn't big enough to roll around in without falling off like some of these couples'. I also question where all the arms and legs go while they're rolling around and how no one gets seriously hurt.

I do remember quite clearly the first time a love scene came close to what really might happen when a couple gets physical. The hero and heroine in Judith Krantz's Princess Daisy have just made love for the first time. As they are lying in afterglow, she squeezes out a little fart. She is mortified but the hero, in his very perfect way, finds it—and her—adorable.

Let's face it; sex can be messy. All kinds of awkward things can happen when you're getting hot and bothered. Farting and other bodily noises resulting from vigorous activity where air is being compressed in unusual ways can occur at the height of passion. Bad breath, excess sweating, stray bits of toilet paper, an errant hair, or leakage of bodily fluids can all can produce unexpected interruptions and embarrassment.

Sex can also create more concerning situations for one or both of you: a painful position, cramps, someone's hair being painfully pulled, or, the ultimate disaster, one of you being unable to perform in the expected and desired way.

No matter the level of awkwardness or disappointment, how both of you respond says a lot about your relationship, both present and in the future. For the lesser interruptions, the ability to laugh and say "excuse me" will allow both of you to acknowledge what just happened but then move back to the intimate moment at hand. For anything more serious, you will want to address the events in a safe and caring way, preferably at a time when both of you aren't so vulnerable. Keep reading...

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Article contributed by

Lesli Doares

Relationship Coach

Lesli Doares, MFT

Lesli writes about issues related to marriage and relationships at afearlessmarriage.com.  She is the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage:  How to Create Your Happily Ever After with More Intention, Less Work, a manual for couples on how to have a long and successful marriage.  Lesli also speaks passionately on many relationship-related topics.

Location: Cary, NC
Credentials: LMFT
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