Do you have sexual fantasies that involve rape? Are you worried if this is normal or not? If so, help is on the way.

In this video, sex therapist and YourTango Expert Dr. Lori Buckley of the Sinclair Institute says that, in fact, it's a very common fantasy for women. "Women have many fantasies that they would never ever want to have happen," she says. It's not a fantasy about the violence rape entails but centers instead around feeling desired. So, is this really just a fantasy, and is it okay to bring into a relationship?

Want to learn more? Check out the video above!


Hi I’m Dr. Lori Buckley with Ask an Expert.  I’m a sex and relationship therapist with the Sinclair Institute and today I’m going to be answering your sex and intimacy questions.
Today’s question is: Dear Dr. Lori, I have rape fantasies.  Is this normal?

Such a great question.  Women have many fantasies they would never, ever want to actually happen.  And rape fantasies is a perfect example of that.  And common.  It’s actually one of the most common fantasies that women have.  It’s not about violence.  So rape is about violence, a rape fantasy is about being taken.  About not having to do anything.  About feeling desired and wanted in that way.  So enjoy your fantasy and know that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

Connect with me at

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official

More sex advice from YourTango: