How to let go of the past and learn to love again.
Earlier today, I wrote "Your Break-Up Survival Guide," for The Gloss (check it out! It's pretty, with lots of pictures to click through). And since it's "Break Up With Your Ex" time here at YourTango, I figured it's high time to share my advice. What happens when you're already broken up, but just can't break up with the past? It's bad enough to end things with a person, but to have to say adieu to memories and the invisible, yet somehow tangible, threads that connect you to a former relationship can be even harder. As I said over at The Gloss, the only real cure for such anguish is time, or a yet-to-be invented procedure that can wipe your brain clean of him. But since science has yet to mend a broken heart and we can't speed up the clocks, here are a few (healthy) ways to break up with your ex.
Do not be friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah… you said you were going to be friends, but once you've been that intimate and close to someone, it's not easy to just turn every single emotion off. Even if you've moved on to someone new, you have to let go physically and emotionally.
Get a lock box. Just as with the initial break-up, you need a lock box to toss all memories of him into it and lock it away. Out of sight, out of mind, ladies.
Block him on all forms of social media. You may have told yourself you parted on good terms, so why are you still checking his Facebook every other day? As we stated above, you are no longer friends, so you shouldn't be "friends" on Facebook either.
Re-focus your energy. Let's say you're walking down the street and you think of something that reminds you of your ex. Of course your initial reaction might be to call or text him — don't do it! If you still have his number in your phone (and you shouldn't), text a friend instead. Sure, she might be confused when she gets a random text about a joke only he and you would understand, but when you explain later, she'll be grateful you chose her instead of him.
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Love again. It’s the hardest thing in the world to do, but one of the best ways of breaking up with your ex is opening your heart up to new people and potential new love. You will love and be loved again; you will find someone just as great — if not greater — than him. Although I'm having a hard time believing my own advice at this point in my life, you'll eventually realize that he wasn't that special after all because if he was, he wouldn't have let you go.
What's your best advice to get over the memory of an ex?