Is your relationship based on love and trust—or just lust?
No one wants to be considered as a "sex buddy" or be placed in a friend with benefits category without their permission. Being treated like a "sex buddy" can have a demeaning and emotional effect on someone's image or self worth. You think it is love, but you are still unsure about your partner's position? How can you determine if it is true love or just sex? Here are 3 simple tips on how to avoid being labeled as a "booty call." Sound Off: A Friends With Benefits Relationship Is...
1. No late night phone calls! If your partner only calls you when he is interested in engaging in "intimate relations," think about reevaluating your terms. In this situation, your "buddy" may call only late at night after everything has closed so he does not have to take you on dates. He may not be interested in including you in any of his social events. Just, S-E-X please!
2. Are you both exclusive? If you cease dating other people because you feel you are exclusive, did you verify you are on the same wavelength with him? If he is dating other women, discussing the exclusivity of your relationship with your partner could prove to be essential. Words you never want to hear, "We never talked about being in a monogamous relationship." If it is true, you cannot blame him for being unfaithful in your relationship. Always determine where you are in your relationship before placing sex first on the menu. Consider your feelings first, not your libido!
3. Accept no excuses! You want to introduce him to your family and friends, but he shows no desire to meet them and makes excuses so he does not have to do it. His phone and texts are consistently going off, and he remains secretive about his calls. He may leave your hang-outs suddenly, offering you more prefabricated excuses. Is he gravitating away from you? Pump your brakes and figure out where you are in the relationship. This is where you may want to have a conversation with your partner about whether he is invested in the relationship.
If you are looking for true love with your mate, it may be wise to communicate your feelings upfront before engaging in sexual matters. Sex can complicate the already blurred line making it difficult to get back over to true love.
Relationship Guru and author, Roland Hinds is best known for helping people through unique crisis. His book, "Are You The Right One For Me? Whose Choice Is It Anyway?" address those who are experiencing unsuccessful relationships. He also host an online podcast, TruVue Radio focusing on various types of relationships. His next book is due out in 2012, "Living in the World - Dating Christian" geared towards Christians who have problems dating.