Study: Empathic Men Are Better Lovers

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couple in bed with roses
When it comes to sex, empathy helps guys do it better.

Conventional dating wisdom may claim that women think with their heads while men think with their man-parts, but new research from Johns Hopkins University suggests that the latter deserve a little more credit when it comes to bedroom activities. According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, the majority of sexually satisfied men also possess a high amount of empathy. Who says nice guys win last? 7 Ways To Set The Mood For Great Sex

Researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health evaluated surveys from 3,200 students aged 18 - 26, where participants answered questions designed to measure autonomy, self-esteem and empathy. Unsurprisingly, 87 percent of men reported having orgasms most of the time during sex, compared to 47 percent of women, but it also turns out that more men reported giving oral sex than women. In fact, researchers told LiveScience that young men are more likely than women to consistently relish acts in which the goal is to satisfy their partner. Sex Video: How to Have a Female Orgasm

 

Next, the researchers measured levels of sexual satisfaction (based on frequency of orgasm, and enjoyment of giving and receiving oral sex) against levels of autonomy, self-esteem and empthy. They found that while women with high amounts of these traits reported better sex lives, only empathy made a positive difference in the sex lives of men. Autonomy contributed to frequency of orgasm, while higher self-esteem was correlated with enjoyment of giving oral sex, but neither led to better sex in general. Researches posited that a man's sensitivity to his partner's needs "initiates a positive feedback cycle," meaning that your response to his generosity motivates him to please you again and again. Help! My Guy Doesn't Want to Give Oral Sex

Empathy isn't simply about being sensitive, though. A person who is easily offended might be sensitive, but he's not necessarily empathetic. True empathy means being able to understand and respond to someone else's emotions and perspective. You can identify with their struggles, their joys, and with their anxieties. So the next time you try gauging a guy's sexual prowess, focus less on his swagger and more on his ability to listen and open up.