Who's Responsible For "Impure" Thoughts: Men Or Women?


Man with cross and sexy woman
When men fantasize about women, should women be held responsible for their impure thoughts?

When the church that I had been attending in Southern California finally saved up enough money to buy their own building, one of the biggest decisions was whether or not the folding chairs that everyone would sit on during services should have a massive gap in the back of them or not. This decision was important because purity was at stake.

"Purity?" you ask. Indeed.


You see, this particular Orange County church was jam-packed every Sunday with twentysomething women who were young and tan and often sporting hip-hugger jeans. As all who wear them know, hip-hugger jeans can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because they are much more attractive than the high-waisted Bongo jeans we were all subjected to in the early '90s, but a curse because they often result in precarious situations whereby our unmentionables (i.e. thong underwear) have a tendency to creep out above the back waistline whenever we sit down. Christian Sex Toys: Spicy Or Sacrilegious?

These unlawful appearances happened rather frequently during church services, and they did not go unnoticed by the young, twentysomething men who attended each Sunday. In fact, these men started complaining about how distracting it was to be in services and trying desperately to focus on God when there were attractive women in their midst who were clearly wearing sexy underwear. Thus, our pastor heard their cry and instated a mandatory "Thong Test" for all the folding chairs that passed through the doors of the new building. The chairs with long enough backs were allowed to stay. All others were discarded. No Sex Before Marriage? He Made Her Wait

However, even after every chair had been perfectly selected, girls would come to church wearing tube tops and denim mini-skirts, and in the midst of all of this exposed female flesh, the men's thoughts were still drifting in unholy directions. In response, our pastor took a more direct approach and addressed all the women from the pulpit, asking that they would please, please consider putting on more clothing before coming to church. Why Orthodox Jews May Have The Hottest Sex Lives

I think I speak for a majority of Christian women over the decades who feel that asking us to shoulder the burden of deflecting men's sexual fantasies is rather daunting and somewhat unfair. On the one hand, we understand and appreciate that these men are trying their hardest to be respectful of us and to see us as people rather than sex objects. How can we possibly argue with that? In addition, it's quite commendable that a group of red-blooded, 21st century men would choose focusing on God over focusing on sex; yet the question still remains: In spite of everyone's best intentions, when men find themselves fantasizing during church, whose responsibility is it?

I figured that the very best way to begin answering it was to go to the men themselves. I talked to a handful of my Christian guy friends, ages 25–32, and I asked them if men were really that prone to wandering thoughts about the women sitting around them at church. Their answer was a resounding yes.

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