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We Can't Agree on a Baby Name

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pregnant couple at computer
How to keep baby name disagreements from taking the joy out of getting ready for baby.

My husband and I generally agree on things. Whether this is due to similar outlooks or the fact that he does his best not to butt heads with me I'm not sure, but whatever the reason, the result is a home that's, overall, pretty harmonious. In fact, until recently, pretty much the only thing we regularly disagreed upon was whether or not pizza should qualify as a food group. (It shouldn't.)

Our family currently has a headcount of four. My husband adopted my 8-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and we have a 13-month-old son together. Choosing his name was so easy that it was almost as if he'd named himself. I suggested a name, my husband agreed, we plopped a favorite grandfather's name in the middle and, just like that, our son had a name we both loved.

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I was surprised to find out this past June that I was pregnant a third time, and that our headcount would be increasing again. I was even more surprised to learn a couple of months later that we were having a girl. My nausea and cravings were the same as when I was pregnant with my son and, frankly, I wasn't sure that my husband, one of a long series of boys, had a girl in him. (Plus, with a house full of gently used baby items in a sweet shade of baby blue, I may have been overly optimistic about how prepared I was.) Planning For Kids Is Futile

Before my ultrasound, we'd pretty much settled on a name for the boy we thought was on the way. Just like when we'd named our 13-month-old, we'd found a name we both loved, a name that felt natural. Unfortunately, Samuel isn't appropriate for a little girl, and the movie Sixteen Candles ruined the name Samantha for me. So suddenly, we were shopping for clothes with frills, and a name to match.

While trying to allow my eyes adjust to the Pink glow of girly baby products, we began discussing our options. We needed a feminine name that was as beautiful as it was strong... a name she'll be proud to use when introducing herself to the future boyfriends my husband's already preparing to threaten... and a name she'll feel equally as confident writing on a job application. When Dating, How Important Is Someone's Name?

I have the perfect name.

So does my husband.

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They are not the same name. And neither of us is budging.

There isn't anything wrong with the name he's currently favoring. It's beautiful and fairly uncommon. It just isn't clicking with me, and he feels the same way about the name at the top of my list. And we both feel strongly that you shouldn't settle on something as important as a name. A name will follow you your whole life. It should be perfect.

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