"If you're being offered a template on how to titillate and stimulate your woman, take it!" says Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, sex educator and author of "Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover." "She's not suggesting that you're bad in bed; she's just letting you know what her preferences are."
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Here's a secret: Women like having sex. A lot of them love it, and a few even think about it all the time. But their shortcoming is that they often want men to be mind readers. Many women aren't confident enough to ask for what they want in bed, so instead they accept a so-so sex life. Tonight, start a conversation about sex. Talk about the things that turn you on and ask her if there's anything she'd like you to do differently.
"Since everyone is individual when it comes to likes and dislikes, the only way to make sure you're having a hot sex life with your lady is to listen and incorporate her suggestions," says Fulbright.
If you're more open about sex, your partner will begin to enjoy herself more, which means that you'll reap the benefits, too.
Mistake No. 1: Not Taking Charge
Women are leaders in the workplace. They run the household and can do pretty much anything they put their minds to. But when it comes to sex, they often want you to take charge and "be the man." Anything halfhearted and tentative is a turnoff.
"If you're holding back, she will, too," says Fulbright. "You need to unleash your carnal side and make her feel wanted in an almost unbridled way."
Mistake No. 2: Sticking to the Same Old Routine
If you've been with the same person for a while, you probably know the exact moves that are needed in order to pleasure your partner. But sex can become as tedious as watching reruns if you never change things up.
"While there's something to be said about the tried and true, mixing things up is what keeps your brain and your other vital parts stimulated," says Fulbright. "She'll be more intrigued with you if the sex has a couple of fun twists and turns."
Tonight, surprise her by having sex in a different room of the house or in a different position, or switch things up by keeping your clothes on. You're sure to get a big reaction.
Mistake No. 3: Focusing on the Finish Line
Life is about the journey, not the destination, and the same thing is true for sex. When you're frantically laboring away toward your own climax, it's usually not that fun for your partner. Truly hot sex comes from taking your time and exploring.
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