Dear _________, Thank you for posting your prostitution ad on Craigslist. I'm not being sarcastic. Last year, I called you the "c" word when I asked you to stop writing my husband. We blocked your email address so your emails would stop. The Frisky: How To Handle Financial Infidelity
I stalked your website. You were selling sex. I hated you and your youth. Your disregard for the norms I grew up with made me sick. I was taught that sex was special, and there you were, selling it. Worse, my husband took your bait. You pretended to be a Yale music student. You posed in your underwear and bra. You were "looking" for friends because you were new to town. In answering my husband, you asked if he could pick you up. The day he wrote you, he told me he loved me.
When I first found your spam-filtering message on his Blackberry, he didn't admit to contacting you. I grew suspicious of him then. But I believed he didn't have it in him to go outside our marriage. He hated lying and wanted to be accepted by my mother, who didn't approve of our relationship.
Our second year together was tough. We weren't blissfully happy like we were supposed to be. We married young and in love, but struggled to love what each other was becoming. I was on mission to prove that getting married young wasn't defining, so I trained for marathons, studied for a masters, and worked full-time. My husband was caught off-guard by my desire to be away and he was struggling with his own career setbacks. He had time to peruse Craigslist at work and at home. Once he complained about being our maid, but I didn't suspect a thing.
He had no problem telling you he was 26, married, and wanted to meet up on a day I had class until 10:30 p.m. But he didn't tell you he was lonely or wanted company. If you guys had met for coffee, maybe he would have told you I changed and I spoke to my mother about him. Maybe you would have heard about our fights and our lives. Maybe he would have mentioned I never helped out with chores and I acted like I didn't want to be married. Or maybe he would have told you nothing at all. Maybe he just wanted sex. Maybe he just wanted to feel like a man, in charge of his life, in being with you. The Frisky: My Boyfriend Cheated On Me Without Protection
I won't deny it: I sucked as a wife. I cared only about moving forward in my career, my education, and staying. When I asked for help, he called me a "superwoman," saying I didn't need him. We were humming to different tunes and I grew less attracted to him over time. But I still considered him my best friend. My mom, whom I had never been close to, became my support system. She urged me to complete all my goals. I did.