Crushing On Friends Is Harder When You're Gay

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pillow fight between female friends
When you're gay, confessing a crush involves a little more risk.

Before I was in a relationship, I crushed on my female friends with alarming frequency. In high school, I got turned on when I slept in the same bed with my best friend who I had known since I was 2 years old. Obviously, I never told her this and, since we don't speak anymore, I'm going to take this one to my grave. (Um, unless, of course, she reads The Frisky!) Later, I tried like hell to hook up with another friend who claimed to be bi, but now says that she is straight. Oh yeah, and I've totally slept with my current bestie. Twice. The Frisky: Crushes As Foreplay

Crushing on friends is nothing new. But for gays and lesbians, the whole thing is a little more difficult to navigate. My crushes on female friends raised a whole host of questions. It was never simply, "Does she like me?" It was more like, "Does she even like girls?" or "Will this ruin our friendship?" or "Could this scare her away?" or "If I tell her will she still want to hang out?" or ... well, I could go on and on. The Frisky: Eight Signs You Should Confess Your Crush

Same-sex relationships tend to be closer, especially when you're younger. Think back to high school. Was your best friend the same gender as you? Probably. It's a catch-22 because big-time closeness is more likely to lead to romantic feelings if you swing that way, but messing up a super-close relationship because of those feelings can be devastating.

Then there's the whole stigmatization thing. I never told a close girlfriend I had a crush on her because I didn't want things to get awkward. I wasn't looking for the reputation as the girl who was going to cop a feel at a sleepover or scope cleavage at a pool party. Talk about social leprosy! My female friends felt comfortable watching movies in the dark with me and I wanted to keep it that way. The Frisky: 13 Assumptions We Make About Pretty Woman