In a story that might be shocking in a pre-Tiger Woods and Jesse James world, a Spanish woman named Naya (who may or may not be a model) claims that a media outlet paid her close to $5,500 to seduce Real Madrid footballer Cristiano Ronaldo and then report back on his performance. Wow. Thanks a lot, Spain. Our American tabloids are going to hear this story and go, "D'oh! Why didn't we think of that? It's brilliant!" Watch your back, Mark Sanchez.
According to Naya, the ex-fiancee of Kiko "Paquirrín" Rivera (apparently Spain's answer to Brandon Davis), she met Cristiano after his team's February 21 match and successfully lured him into bed. And why did Cristiano—who's been romantically linked to Paris Hilton and, most recently, Kim Kardashian—pick this random chick as his sex toy for the evening? Because "fat girls suck it well." Yep. That's what he told her. Now, first of all, this girl isn't even fat. Not by any stretch. Secondly, only a guy who looks like Cristiano can get away with saying something like that and still get laid. Kim Kardashian Jumps On Cristiano Ronaldo
But Naya didn't stop there. Here are a few more details of the romp(s):
- "You can’t compare Ronaldo's abs to those of Paquirrín. Paquirrín is a sack of potatoes." (Requisite dig at the ex-boyfriend.)
- "He [did] me three times…it was a 9.5. I wouldn’t say he gets 10 points."
- "He carries condoms in his Dolce & Gabbana sneakers, but the third time we did it without one."
- "If his c**k was a pizza, it would be a family-sized one."
Wow. All we can say is that only a guy who looks like Cristiano and packs a family-sized pizza in his pants can get away with carrying condoms in his shoes and still get laid. That, and we guess it's safe to assume that he goes unprotected during flip-flop weather. Yikes. The Condom Commandments
Scoop via Tabloid Prodigy. Photo via Difusión.