The Condom Commandments
Condoms: bear these rules in mind before baring it all.
Imagine this: You're a young, single woman out in the jungle that is the urban dating world. One fine summer night, you meet a good-looking guy at a rooftop party. "Hello," he says, as you push your way through the crowd toward the makeshift bar. "Do I know you?" you ask. "No, but I'd like to get you another drink," he offers. You are charmed. "Of course—but be careful. They’re pouring heavy tonight," you warn. He laughs. Before long, you and the young man are conversing while throwing back stiff vodka tonics. Soon, you are making out. Why not, right? He invites you home with him. You agree. You are pleasantly surprised when you arrive at his swanky apartment, and it's clean! Before long, you're both naked. Then, he utters some alarming words. "Do you have a condom?" he asks. "Um ... Not on me. Don't you have one?" you ask. "Can we skip the condom? I prefer sex without a condom. I have great self-control," he explains. The Frisky: 36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed.
Suddenly, he is no longer so charming. "I don't know you," you say. But he persists. "I won't come inside you ... Please?" he begs. OMFG! WTF? Have I been magically transported back to 1969? The Frisky: What's Your Most Embarrassing Sex Moment?
Awkward and unsettling, right? I share this story with you—which is a composite I collected from a few friends—because it's been brought to my attention that an anti-condom trend is rearing its ugly head out there in Singleland. When I took a poll of single women, most said their recent partners had been more than willing to sheath the sword. An unsettling number said that they'd been pressured to throw down sans protection. Some split. Some went for it.
This might come as a shocker to most guys: Women hate condoms too! We think they feel weird and clinical! For this reason, it is particularly hard to be put in the position of "policewoman" in the bedroom. Still, we know we have to because, well, STDs and accidental pregnancies are scary. Condom etiquette is something that single women don't discuss nearly enough. If we are being put in this position—even occasionally—we need some open dialogue to take some of the awkwardness and confusion out of these situations. So, we have for you our eight condom commandments. No matter what your views are about casual sex, dating, or relationships, it's important to know where you stand on condoms before the moment "arises." The Frisky: Did I Break His Penis?
Discussion
I was singing one night and a guy was in from out of town. He needed a ride back down the street. I said I'd give him a ride. I didn't catch the fact that he was trying to hook up with me...apparently because I'm a complete idiot. It turned out that he needed a ride 30 mile down the highway. He asked to stop at a convenience store while we were talking about our schooling. I pulled into the mobilmart as he completed his answer about having majored in "football" in his undergrad MBA (um...huh?...it didn't sound right to me either!) He asked me for $10 and went in. He came out with 2 sodas and a 3 pack of condoms...asked if I wanted one of the sodas and kept my change. At least he was being responsible...I think. Needless to say that I dropped him off where he was staying with his unopened condoms and 1 extra soda and pulled away.
I recently am back in the dating scene and being a contemporary, "with it" lady, I went out to buy condoms (eek! Do you know how many brands there are?!). I talked to a bunch of my guy friends about what brand i should have bought and all of them thought it was totally weird that I'd done that. Huh? Ultimately I'm the one who's going to have to pay the price, so I'm going to take responsibility for my own safety and not leave it in someone else's hands! After I got over the initial jitters of buying them, it was actually pretty empowering. Good luck out there!
