Shagging, boinking, knocking boots, wallpapering the closet, doing it: SEX. Traditionally, an act confined to the bedroom, but whoever said that sex needs to be traditional? Just like there's more to mating than missionary, there's also more options for where it goes down than simply between the sheets. Here are the Leftos top seven places to have fun beyond the bedroom...
There’s so many options here: hiking, camping, and being in a remote park,
that some of you are wondering how we could put it so far up on our list. The
answer is simple: logistics. It’s easy to say that you want to try it outdoors,
but there is so much to consider. For instance, what does poisonous plant life
look like, and what should you not be making contact with you when you’re in
your birthday suit? (Hint: Not bees.) Don’t get us wrong though, having a roll
in the hay (literally) might be a very good experience, but plan carefully, and
for Pete’s (and your) sake bring a blanket.
6: The Shower
This one might seem a little obvious, but that’s because it is an easily
accessible alternate locale for anyone with running water. The sensual comfort
of warm water combined with a bit of lather, and it’s soapy fun guaranteed. Why
the high ranking? Unless you have a particularly large shower, anything more
complicated than small favors will become an operational nightmare, not to
mention a hazard. If you must, install a grip bar and proceed with caution,
otherwise your romantic evening might end with a minor concussion.
5: At a Friend's
Hey, if they’re really your friend, they won’t begrudge you getting a
little, but be polite: Quick, clean, and quiet. The thrill of being caught only
adds to the excitement, and provided you don’t turn someone’s couch cushion
into DNA evidence, there’s little harm done. Alternately, viewing an apartment
or house-sitting will provide ample opportunities for naughtiness.
We can practically see some of you rubbing the bruises you got hitting your
head on the ceiling of the ol’ shaggin’ wagon. Yes, your average automobile is
cramped, but it has the irresistible combination of relative privacy and taboo.
This might not be available in all areas, but if you can, have a date night at
a drive-in theater. What better way to appreciate a film than by paying no
attention whatsoever to it? Treat the horny teenager in all of us to a
bit of back seat boogieing, and hope that your car has good shocks.
Yes it is a cliché, and don’t forget not quite so legal, but earning your
membership in the mile high club is a cherished aeronautic tradition. The
phrase, “closer to God” has never been quite so literal than when having a romp
on an airplane. Again, it is very cramped, but the good news is that one of you
can sit on the sink for better positioning.
2: In Public and Around Other's
The risk of being caught is a huge factor in what makes other locations on
the list sexy. The thrill involved once again comes with the tradeoff of being
dubiously legal, but there is no lawful way to replicate the racing of your
heart when the fitting room attendant at Macy’s comes in to see what all of the
deep breathing from stall 3 is about. Public restrooms are another option (if
you can get over the hygiene shock.) Overall, although spontaneity leads to
most public encounters, use your head (first the big one, then the
little one) and be smart about it.
1: Outside of Your Comfort Zone
The whole point of trying sex in new places is to break out of your
established routine as a couple. Boredom with intimacy is one of the fastest
ways to kill a relationship, and stepping beyond where you and your partner
feel “safe” is key to preventing this. We are certainly not advocating
dangerous sexual practices, but rather varied ones. Vocalize! (and not just during
sex.) Talk to each other about your desires and fantasies. Going
someplace new doesn’t require a road trip, it can be as simple as trying some
toys or a little bit of role playing.
Remember…what is new is exciting, and what is exciting is sexy.
Share with us some of your favorite places to get down and dirty!