Shagging, boinking, knocking boots, wallpapering the closet, doing it: SEX. Traditionally, an act confined to the bedroom, but whoever said that sex needs to be traditional? Just like there's more to mating than missionary, there's also more options for where it goes down than simply between the sheets. Here are the Leftos top seven places to have fun beyond the bedroom...
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There’s so many options here: hiking, camping, and being in a remote park,
that some of you are wondering how we could put it so far up on our list. The
answer is simple: logistics. It’s easy to say that you want to try it outdoors,
but there is so much to consider. For instance, what does poisonous plant life
look like, and what should you not be making contact with you when you’re in
your birthday suit? (Hint: Not bees.) Don’t get us wrong though, having a roll
in the hay (literally) might be a very good experience, but plan carefully, and
for Pete’s (and your) sake bring a blanket.
6: The Shower
This one might seem a little obvious, but that’s because it is an easily
accessible alternate locale for anyone with running water. The sensual comfort
of warm water combined with a bit of lather, and it’s soapy fun guaranteed. Why
the high ranking? Unless you have a particularly large shower, anything more
complicated than small favors will become an operational nightmare, not to
mention a hazard. If you must, install a grip bar and proceed with caution,
otherwise your romantic evening might end with a minor concussion.
5: At a Friend's
Hey, if they’re really your friend, they won’t begrudge you getting a
little, but be polite: Quick, clean, and quiet. The thrill of being caught only
adds to the excitement, and provided you don’t turn someone’s couch cushion
into DNA evidence, there’s little harm done. Alternately, viewing an apartment
or house-sitting will provide ample opportunities for naughtiness.
We can practically see some of you rubbing the bruises you got hitting your
head on the ceiling of the ol’ shaggin’ wagon. Yes, your average automobile is
cramped, but it has the irresistible combination of relative privacy and taboo.
This might not be available in all areas, but if you can, have a date night at
a drive-in theater. What better way to appreciate a film than by paying no
attention whatsoever to it? Treat the horny teenager in all of us to a
bit of back seat boogieing, and hope that your car has good shocks.