I've never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky. The Frisky: What Are Your Secret Turn-Ons?
So, I'm going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she's too self-conscious to ask for. Don't pressure anything, of course — but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts ... The Frisky: 10 Reasons Sexting Is Better Than The Real Thing
1. She wants you to eat her out more: Our culture has a weird relationship with vag, if you haven't noticed. Your lady has likely been exposed to a lot of lame-o messages telling her that her vag is "too hairy," "too smelly," "tastes gross," "ugly," etc. She might really love getting oral sex, but she's afraid to ask you to do it because she's afraid you've internalized the same messages that she has. The Frisky: What Men Think About During Sex
How to ask: It's time to start sincerely praising her lady parts big time: "Your p**sy is so pretty!" "I love the way your vagina looks." "I love the way your p**sy tastes." "I love hearing you moan while I eat you out!" And so on. (If she is offended by the word "p**sy," obviously you should say something different.) If she is still skittish about being eaten out, don't push it. Offer to give a massage all over her inner thighs and on the outer folds of her labia; keep offering to do this, and keep praising her vag, until she mellows out. And if she never does, hey, maybe she's just not into oral sex! The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating