Despite the warning of countless children's stories, we humans still lie. Has the fear of growing long, wooden noses or becoming a wolf's next meal taught us nothing?
A recent study of 5,000 online daters found that in online dating profiles, lies (albeit minor ones) abound. Men are inclined to lie about things like personal achievement, interests, past relationships and age. Women, on the other hand, tend to lie about their weight. Why is that we often find ourselves lying to those we love (or hope to one day love)? We see the damage that the lies of those like Tiger Woods and other high-profile cheaters cause, but what about the "little white lies" we often tell our spouses or significant others? Are lies always bad for relationships, and why are we compelled to lie, in the first place? Online Dating Sites Are Lying To Us (Maybe)
We took these and other questions about deceit to our in-house relationship experts from ProConnect. Here's what they had to say:
Why do we lie to our partners?
In a world where we accepted our own flaws, and knew we'd be accepted for them by others, there would be no lying. Alas, that's not the world in which we live. So while it's hard to defend lying, it seems to me that people lie for one of two main reasons: their own insecurity, or their partner's insecurity.
If a man feels that he's going to be judged for staying after work to have a drink with the guys, he may just tell his wife he's working late. If a woman feels she's going to make her man feel bad due to his subpar performance in bed, she may tell him he was amazing. These are run-of-the-mill white lies which protect people's feelings, but never get to the heart of the problem: he wants to have a life beyond his girlfriend, she wants to be satisfied sexually. How To Be Honest: Seven Tips
It's easy to instruct people to always be honest, but when "honesty" can often run parallel to "mean," lying is often the path of least resistance.
- Evan Katz
Lies are generated due to fear and one being insincere with himself or herself. An interesting tidbit on sincere: the word comes from Latin in which sin means "without" and cere is "wax," so sincere is "without wax." Sculptors used to use wax to cover small nicks and problems with their sculptures. The sculptures without wax or sin cere were the better products, thus the root of sincere. Today, we tend to cover our flaws with lies and thus are considered to be insincere.
- Thomas Myers
Do men and women lie about the same things?